I opted my career as an electrical engineer. Personal Statement for Review

Personal Statement

I am passionate about science and technology. Anything related to it drive my attention towards it.
Therefore, i want to acquire excellence in technical knowledge. This is why i opted my career as an
electrical engineer.
The govt. of my country is doing best to redress the energy related issues, like that of the load-shedding
which have been a hindrance to the prosperity of my country and has gravely affected various instrumental
sectors of the state either directly or indirectly such as damage to the economy , deterioration of the indus-
tries as a result unemployment has risen, disturbance to the institutional process and so on. For that the
govt. needs technical and highly skilled people. In my view, the solution of this problem lies with the people
with technical expertise, like us, the future engineers. It is us who have to solve the problems so that our
country could avoid further crises.
This program is an auspicious opportunity for me, through which i can procure technical education from
the world's best institutions which would not only help me with my career but would also enable me to give
my services to my country and its people in a better way.

The range of words should be 200-250.

Open the introduction with an attractive statement. For example you can write one of your experiences through which you found that you are interested in Electrical Engineering.

I do not know what the prompt asked you, but as far as I know in a personal statement you should write about your educational and professional backgrounds first and then write why you choose that particular university, organization or institute to apply for. Mention what may set you apart from other applicants and write about your exceptional abilities such as your ability in research, communication skills, team work spirit, your ability to accomplish and manage a project, etc.

Google "write a good personal statement" to find loads of information about it.

Hope you find the comments helpful
Regards
Ahmad

Thank you very much actually it is about the Global Undergraduate Exchange Program in which candidates would stay for a term in the US, you might have heard about it. In application form they ask us to write SoP of 200 to 250 words that should describes the goals of your life and reasons why you want to go to USA. An educational adviser told me to give intro in 1st paragraph. that is why i tried to do so... and now if you could do me favor to review again after that you understated what is being asked.

looking forward for your reply