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"A Passion Driven Team" - HSF Scholarship Essay- Extracurricular Activities



jcartwright93 2 / 3  
Nov 23, 2010   #1
A Passion Driven Team

High school has been given the implication: "Get the best grades, whatever way you can so you can go to the best college to have the best chance to succeed". In my opinion I think otherwise. High school is not about trying to get the best grades. It is about taking advantage of your free time by joining extracurricular activities that will gain you valuable experience and help you later down the road. After school, instead of using my free time to play videogames or go on Facebook, I use this valuable time to do something productive by investing in my interests through extracurricular activities in my school.

Since my freshmen year I have been part of the yearbook team. When I walk into the yearbook lab, I hear computers humming, editors delegating, and passion being involved. Yearbook is the place where I dwell, where I can go into my sweet spot and thrive. I have learned how to use various computer applications from Photoshop to Final Cut Pro (A video editing software). Every year the yearbook staff produces a yearbook and video yearbook and displays them at the end of the year.

This year I was promoted to editor of the video yearbook. My passion lies in video and leading the video yearbook team has been so far a blast. Our focus is to tell a story, a story that will remind students that they are blessed to go to school like this. My job as editor of the yearbook is to delegate, be creative, and inspire. Our most recent project was to create a Public Relations video to be shown at the various local churches in the area.

We took on the project full force by first creating a motive: How can we get thirty more students to attend our school? We started brainstorming ideas. We listed all the events we wanted to be put into the video. As we started filming the events and putting them together we realized that a piece of the puzzle was missing. We were showing cool events that were happening at the school, but we weren't showing how the school affected a person's life. A solution to the problem arose: interview an alumnus that gradated from our school. We found a well-known alumnus and arranged a time to interview him. On the day of the interview we set up lights, hooked up microphones, and set up cameras capturing from two different sides. I asked him the questions that would be adequate for inserting into the promotional video. We placed a minute from the interview into the video on how attending the school affected his life in a positive way. It took us two more gruesome months to complete the project, but at the end, all our hard work had turned it into a masterpiece.

From being editor this year I have gained valuable experience in creativity and management. Thinking outside of the box stretched my creativity. I also learned that managing a team needs to be carried out through encouragement and structure. Through those key points, my team was able to complete task after task with ease and poise. After graduation, I plan to turn my passion into a career. After college, when I go to apply for a job I will get the job over the 4.0 G.P.A graduate because I have the experience to back my self up. I am glad I didn't just sit on the couch, but used my time productively to do something enjoyable.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 2, 2010   #2
by investing in my interests through extracurricular activities in my school.---In this sentence, you can have a greater effect on the reader by listing the activities instead of referring to them generally.

It would also be good if, with this or any essay, you can end the first paragraph with a sentence that expresses the message of the essay in a single sentence.

I also learned that managing a team needs to be carried out with the use of encouragement and structure. Through those key...----I made a small change here to avoid two uses of "through" in a row and also to add clarity.

Regarding content, I don't want to suggest any changes. You did a great job of showing specific insights you gained, demonstrating your proactive attitude toward learning, and your great attitude.
zqueenb 1 / 4  
Dec 4, 2010   #3
let's assume the reader knows what Final cut Pro is, so you can take out the parenthesis.

"remind students that they are blessed to go to school like this." a school like what? you want to say you school is great, say it .

overall its a good essay. good topic


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