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"I'm passionate about the public media" Syracuse Scholarship in Action question



map18 1 / 6  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Hello! I was just wondering if anyone could tell me if I'm answering this question "right." It is phrased a weird. There are also a few grammatical errors that need to be worked out.

4. Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

When the resonant tunes of 89.3 The Current first blasted out of my radio I knew I was hearing something special. My musical horizons expanded as new bands and songs reached my ears. They play new indie tunes alongside the great music of the sixties, seventies, and eighties. Local rap beats and nineties one-hit wonders burst out of speakers in the Twin Cities. The songs of Mumford & Sons, Tegan and Sara, and The Flaming Lips were presented to me like gifts. All of this is given to me and other avid audiophiles by the marvelous Minnesota Public Radio. I am a member of Minnesota Public Radio, and I am planning to remain a member throughout my college years and beyond. Public broadcasting is important because it brings programming that is more than just fodder for the masses. It has brought me more than my favorite music. Public broadcasting is not just entertainment, but both stimulates the mind and provides an unbiased news source.

Recently, the funding of public broadcasting has been brought into question by congress. If public broadcasting is cut from the federal budget, stations such as the Current will need listener support more than ever. I will be one of these supporters. It is my belief that public broadcasting is a vital source of thought-provoking programming. This support coincides with the idea of Scholarship in Action because it provides education for the world in the world. Public media is a topic that I am passionate about and it brings an education that cannot be attained in a classroom.

Gregoryg93 4 / 12  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
map18
They want you to talk about what you're going to do outside of your education while at Syracuse. Use their Scholarship in Action vision as the lens.

You should develop the last paragraph to explain what you will do a little more. Your on the right track.
Lightning55 3 / 11  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
I am a member of Minnesota Public Radio, and I am planning to remain a member throughout my college years and beyond.

I like this sentence, but it feels out of place. In the midst of a paragraph where everything describes public broadcasting, it just doesn't fit. You might want to write more about how you might go out of your way to promote public broadcasting instead of just telling them how important public broadcasting is. You might say how you will petition against Congress cutting funding instead of just the news. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

You want to describe to them what YOU will do to help promote Syracuse's Scholarship in Action, not just the importance of an issue. How important is this to you? I want to hear that in your essay.


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