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"a Pediatrician or a Neonatologist" -Hispanic Scholarship Fund- Short/Long Term Goals



chispi93 2 / 6  
Nov 30, 2010   #1
Talk about my academic/career short-term and long-term goals.
How has your Hispanic heritage influenced these goals?

Academically, I want to graduate from my high school with a 4.0 GPA and in the top 10 of the class. Although I currently have a 4.0 GPA and I am #5 in my class, the curriculum of courses I am taking this year are of college-level, there are 805 students in my class and I'm involved in many extra-curricular organization, in which I hold the the position of President in one and Vice-President in another. With so much going around, this is one of my short-term goals as I have to stay focused in the end result of my sacrifices. Another short-term goal is that of competing and advancing in the HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America) EMT category. In this organization, we study outside of school in a subject of interest, mine being Emergency Medical Technician, in which I will take an online quiz and only the top 5 will move on to State competitions in which actual hands-on assessment will be judged as part of competitions. One of my long-term goals is to graduate from college and enter the School of Medicine, from which I will pursue my life career working with children either as a Pediatrician or a Neonatologist. I want to pursue my career field as well as my goals for various reasons. The cliché saying that "I like to help people" is true, but more than that, it is a passion for me; it gives me a sense of satisfaction when I aide others. Specifically, children are my strength; their innocence toward life and their unceasing smiles and happiness gradually attracts me to want to be a part of their well-being. My heritage has been a great impact in my life goals, including those that are academic. Coming from a family with strict morals and values; our economic hardships have not faced us, as what makes us who we are is our desire to succeed and to challenge ourselves to always go the extra mile. Not too long after moving to the United States, I had an asthma attack and my parents frantically looked for a doctor. The first doctor we went to said I was fine, my parents innate instinct thought otherwise; they searched until we found a Hispanic Pediatrician. She took me in the same day and explained to my parents that I was on the verge of going to the ER for my pulse oximetry was 88%, a healthy patient's is above 96% (oxygen in the blood). Knowing that there are many Hispanics out there who struggle with communication, I want to be the doctor they can confide and trust to have a good rapport with, the doctor they can understand and communicate with over their child's needs. I want to be an impactful part of their life by making their hospital care at ease with the minimum of communication barriers. Moreover, I want to represent the Hispanic heritage in a positive way.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 4, 2010   #2
I wish you would add an intro sentence to the very beginning of the essay. Otherwise, doing so well in school may just mean you are neurotic! :-) What I mean is... I think you should give a sentence that tells what is important to you, and then explain the high achievement as a result of determination to achieve some specific goals.

With so much going around, this is one of my short-term goals as I have to stay focused in the end result of my sacrifices. this sentence is so confusing! I don't understand...

Another short-term goal is that of to compete and advance in the...

The cliché, saying that "I like to help people," is true for me , but more than that, it is a passion; for me; it gives me I find a sense of satisfaction when I

I don't know if impactful is a real word! :-)

You are very impressive!! I hope you check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/
OP chispi93 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2010   #3
Thank you so much!
XueAmir 6 / 25  
Dec 12, 2010   #4
lol Impactful is a word. I think kevin probably hit most of the points I would've mentioned, the only thing I would add is a few introductory sentences to let the reader smooth in to what you're trying to talk about. Unless you were trying to just go for a more direct approach and get straight to your topic.

in the top 10ten of my class. Although I currently have a 4.0 GPA and I am ranked fifth#5 in my class


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