People that are nobody and wants to be somebody. APU Japan: Scholarship Essay

How would APU Tuition Reduction Scholarship assist you in reaching your educational and career goal?
The saying that getting a scholarship are just for people that need and people that are smart but actually they forget one more type of people that needs scholarship that are people that are noboy that wants to be somebody. Getting a scholarship would be gratefull. I mean who doesn't want to get a schoarship from one on the best international university. APU is one thet university that could make our dream come true.

Scholarship would help people in smiling widerand make them much more cheered up because of the gift that they got. For me it would really help my studies because it is one of dream to get a scholarship in APU and it would be an houor to get a schoarship as we know that it could make us more confident in doing things and it would make our families proud because it seems that we have worked hard.

Getting a scholarship would really make my much more active in doing things it would make me seems so alive because the trust that i get and it will be a pleasure to be one from hundreds or maybe thousands of people that try to get a scholarship.

Summing up the idea, I would like to say that the APU tuition reduction scholarship is an opportunity to support my education, giving me a chance to be focused on study and reaching my dreams to become an ambbasdor or even work in UNICEF!

244 words

i really need you advice thank you:-)

ok so you need a lot of revision since the sentence structure doesn't follow well. here is my recommendation
getting a scholarship isn't only for the smart and people in need, it is also for people who are nobody(not really sure if you want to use this word but anyway) and want to become somebody, to make a change, and strike for a better future. a scholarship would be truthfully a great finical support which is a way of cheering students up. as if for me, I want to show my hard work and dedication, and make my family proud by getting a scholarship at APU. a scholarship would a great support and encouragement for me to be involved and active in the community as well as keeping me focused.

in conclusion, I would like to say that the APU tuition reduction scholarship is an opportunity to support my education, giving me a chance to be focused on study and reaching my dreams to become an ambassador or even work in UNICEF!

I like the conclusion
and just an advice, you don't want to mention you will become a good student once you won the scholarship, just state that it will be an encouragement to achieve you're dreams and goals since it is supporting you in many ways.

best of luck :)

Yasmin, you certainly had a lot to say in your essay. Unfortunately, nothing you had to say actually led me to understand why you feel you should be awarded this scholarship and how receiving this scholarship will help you achieve your educational goals. Your essay just rambles on about the merits of scholarships and how you first of people who apply for scholarships does not answer the prompt provided. In this particular statement, you must consider and concentrate on all the reasons and aspects of academic study that you will benefit from as a recipient of the scholarship. Explaining how you plan to spend the scholarship money, your dreams and goals for your future, and your current financial situation that requires you to seek a scholarship grant are all aspects of the statement that will help you to accurately respond to the question posed. What is the actual word limit of the statement response? Don't be afraid to go over the word limit as we can edit it down to the requirement, provided you finally have a response that will actually help you get into the running for the scholarship grant consideration :-)