Hi, I am applying for the Questbridge Scholarship and part of the application has two short answer questions with a 100 word limit each, but my answers are too long. I would really appreciate feedback on the actual content and any suggestions on keeping quality while staying under the limit. I didn't add any transitions because both of them are already too long. Please help, thanks. -Harmony.
List and describe three unique factors that have most shaped who you are (any obstacles you have faced or passions you have developed are especially relevant).
I have a petite body type, and I am pretty attractive- a combination that can quickly spell disaster. Martial arts helped me find the confidence in myself to know that nothing will happen to me because I won't let it. I feel as though even though I'm only 5'3", I can protect other people. Going to college early has really helped me gain a work ethic. High school work didn't require me to study and plan in order to get A's. My hair has helped me learn not to get frustrated when things do not come out the way I planned and to try again with something new, or with the same thing a different way.
If you could change one thing about your community, what would you change and why?
A while ago some of the younger children in my neighborhood were riding their bikes down the hill. The more that they played, the more dangerous the things that they were doing became. I advised them to stop, but I doubted that they would listen. They had no idea who I was, and it wasn't as though I knew who their parents were to tell if it came to that. So when a boy fell and scratched his arm bloody, I stood thinking about how different it would be if I had known them just enough to at least hold the threat of telling over their heads. I would change that no one takes the time to make our neighborhood a community. Everyone now is just a bunch of people who live in the vicinity of one another.
List and describe three unique factors that have most shaped who you are (any obstacles you have faced or passions you have developed are especially relevant).
I have a petite body type, and I am pretty attractive- a combination that can quickly spell disaster. Martial arts helped me find the confidence in myself to know that nothing will happen to me because I won't let it. I feel as though even though I'm only 5'3", I can protect other people. Going to college early has really helped me gain a work ethic. High school work didn't require me to study and plan in order to get A's. My hair has helped me learn not to get frustrated when things do not come out the way I planned and to try again with something new, or with the same thing a different way.
If you could change one thing about your community, what would you change and why?
A while ago some of the younger children in my neighborhood were riding their bikes down the hill. The more that they played, the more dangerous the things that they were doing became. I advised them to stop, but I doubted that they would listen. They had no idea who I was, and it wasn't as though I knew who their parents were to tell if it came to that. So when a boy fell and scratched his arm bloody, I stood thinking about how different it would be if I had known them just enough to at least hold the threat of telling over their heads. I would change that no one takes the time to make our neighborhood a community. Everyone now is just a bunch of people who live in the vicinity of one another.