The pharmacy profession chose me as much as I chose to be a pharmacist

personal statement for scholarship

I think the pharmacy profession chose me as much as i chose to be a pharmacist .i would love to say that was a decision that was given the amount of time that it truly deserved but rather it was my fascination with seeing the neatly arranged bottles in pharmacies as a child and my desire to help others.

I have worked with patients to determine what medication therapy will not only be most effective for them but also fit their pocketbook .i have been given the opportunity to become directly involved in my patients` lives,and i believe that makes me not only a better pharmacist but a better person.

there are many opportunities in the pharmaceutical field that i have tried to take advantage of as i have worked in hospitals for 3 years and gained knowledge about drug uses and side effects ,i have greatly increased both my interest and my experience in the field of pharmacy .

my extra-curricular activities such as volunteering at a charity organization have helped to develop my interest in and understanding of pharmacy. this volunteering provides a rewarding and a valuable experience.making me more reliable and caring person.

I believe i have had good achievements in my life .I strive hard to move forward and complete many of the dreams i have yet to fullfill and to enrich my experiences and return with lots of ideas and strategies to improve Egypt and to help thousands of young people .

I look forward to exceeding the expectations of the programme i enter through hard work and compassion,and welcome ,with open arms,the next stage of my life.

if i am granted this scholarship i promise to give in return as much as,can to strengthen the health care system.

well i'm little confuse right here, what is the question you answer here ??

Hello,
Here are some corrections,

only be more effective
fulfill (Typo)
of the program I enter
as much as I can to

Hoodali, this is not a very effective personal statement for a scholarship. Aside from your desire become a good pharmacist, I don't read anything that tells me why you are worthy of becoming a scholar. What abilities have you shown on your academic side to make yourself a good candidate? I am speaking of grades and academic achievements at this point. Scholarships are normally reserved for the best and the brightest students in their chosen college major. There is nothing in this essay that tells me you are an exceptional or gifted student in this field. Maybe I am missing something here because you did not provide the prompt requirement for this personal statement. Or maybe the essay is just weak with room for improvement. It all depends upon what the scholarship wants to learn about you through the personal statement. Your sentence structures are also weak. You have a knack for writing under developed paragraph presentations and your capitalization needs work. Your grammar needs editing, but I don't suggest you do that until you have the proper content represented in your essay first.