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My plan to pursue my masters degree in US be scholarship.

naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Nov 25, 2017   #1
I appreciate feedback about this essay. any suggestion what to add in this essay because still here are space for more words.

Study Objectives and Future Plans

write a clear and detailed description of your study objectives and give your reasons for wanting to pursue them. be specific about your major field of study and your specialized interests within this field. describe the kind of program you expect to undertake and explain how your study plan fits in with your previous training( include number of years of experience in the relevant field of study) and your future objectives ( i.e. career plans).

Hint: ( still i have more than 400 word count space to add more information)

My answer:
Today, (name of country)'s cities due to years of devastating war and lack of experts are facing severe challenges including constructions out of plans, lack of urban plans in municipalities and Ministry of Urban Development and Housing, poor or lack of transportation and infrastructure systems, lack of public awareness about utilizing the transportation and infrastructure systems and so forth. Some improvements have been made in past and recent years, for example, Master plans for (name of country)'s big cities were developed in 1970s which is now outdated, and in recent years Master Plan of (name) city which is provided by (name) government for (name) city. However, there are still many cities without any type of urban plans; furthermore, there are still numerous areas to be improved in Urban Planning field. These problems show a great demand for experts in the field of urban planning.

Since (name of country) is a developing country and needs roads, railroads, gas pipelines and water supply projects, transportation and infrastructure is one of the most important factors for country's development. Transportation and infrastructure planning is the combination of vital functions that determine the efficiency and productivity of a city. Issues of access and mobility of urban residents must be addressed, circulation of workers from home to workplace, and of residents to shopping and services, is fundamental determinant of land use and urban form. All these are related to urban planning, land use, urban economics analysis and so forth. I am passionate to have contribution in taking part in improvement of the cities, so I wish to pursue my master's degree in urban planning with specialization in transportation and infrastructure, and gain the skills of planning and physical and economic analysis of cities.

The significance of my objective can be best understood from challenges that I have observed while working as Engineer in (name of organization) in transportation and infrastructure sub projects of (name) city. During my experience I found that (name) city lacks reliable transportation system and professionalism in the field of urban planning. In central parts of the city traffic flow, construction out of plan and poor road condition has led to many challenges to residents of this city. Current road systems causes deaths every day. On the other hand, nowadays due to security and poverty situation in villages more and more people migrate in cities, according to, "Name" magazine in 2060 half of (name) will live in the cities; this will cause to build new buildings, transportation and infrastructure systems in the cities.

At the result of my observations in (name) city, I found that municipality in this city has just one strategic plan which includes building lines, road lines and green areas, they use this for all constructions in the city, but at rainy days one floor of all markets in the south of city submerge by flood that led to a lot of economic loss. This is why all markets are constructed without a reliable transportation and infrastructure system around them. It should be possible to overcome current urban problems and lay the foundation for a prosperous city. This is why I am interested in obtaining a master's degree that will deepen my knowledge of urban planning.

Studying civil engineering has strengthened my knowledge of urban planning, among all courses I have taken during my undergraduate studies, Engineering Economy, Highway, Wastewater, Water Supply and urban planning conferences and my thesis were of my interest, from which gained a great deal of knowledge about urban planning.

During my master's degree studies I would like to take courses about urban planning in modern cities and get the experience of transportation and infrastructure systems in modern cities to convey in my country. With a master's degree in Urban Planning I will be more prepare and resourceful for development of my organization, " Name" and doing research on how to implement Master Plans in (name of country)'s cities where a high percentage of unplanned constructions exist. Upon my return to (name of country), I would like to work in Urban Development and Housing department in (name) province as Infrastructure Engineer the job which I am one of candidates. Moreover, I would like to provide advice for (name) Municipality in transportation and infrastructure area which lacks expert in this area. I strongly believe that I can achieve my goals of contribution to (name of country)'s urban system and conveying cultural norms by pursuing master's degree through (name of scholarship) program

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,339 3360  
Nov 26, 2017   #2
Naseer, I find the first 3 paragraphs to be highly uninteresting to read. You have gone into so much historical detail that it makes me wonder why you are wasting so much space on that discussion. The first 3 paragraphs should be revised in order to comprise just a single, informative, and interesting paragraph presentation. You need to be more specific about your study objectives in the context of the historical under development of the country. That should be a whole paragraph unto itself, but should not be a historical lecture as it is now. The essay will be stronger if you address how your training proved to be insufficient due to the historical nature of the urban planning development of the city / country. These will help to prove the relevance of your masters studies and its applicability upon your return. If possible, lay out a tentative urban planning project for yourself. It should be along the line of a thesis proposal that shows the type of research that you will be inclined to do during your stint as a masters student.

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