How the proposed activity will enhance collaborative partnerships with key institutions in Indonesia

internationalisation of Australia's education, training and research sectors

Hello, this essay is 4/5 assessment criterion for Endeavour Leadership Program Australia. I would be very glad if anyone can give me some feedback or corrections. Thank you very much in advance.

Regards,
Dininta

ENHANCING THE INTERNATIONALISATION OF AUSTRALIA'S EDUCATION, TRAINING AND RESEARCH SECTORS.
Explain how the proposed activity will enhance collaborative partnerships with key institutions in Indonesia.
Describe how these partnerships will strengthen the capacity of Australia's education, training and research sectors.
Outline any anticipated educational, social, economic or other benefits.

According to Indonesian Ministry of Communication and Information Technology, Indonesia is still facing a problem of human resources deficiency in the information technology field. The quality of information technology education in Indonesia itself is placed in 8th position among the South East Asian countries. Therefore, I chose to equip myself with a higher quality education provided by University of Technology Sydney, Australian leading university for Information Technology.

Completing the proposed activity in UTS will be able to help not only in providing valuable human resource for Indonesia, but also in opening the door for collaboration between UTS and institutions or companies in Indonesia, since I plan to work as a software developer in a domestic IT company in Indonesia upon completing the activity before coming back to my hometown and teach in my alma mater.

Australia has lent a major support for Indonesia in several sectors. For example, in IT field, Australia aided Indonesia in establishing the Aeronautical Fixed Telecommunication Network, a project intended to address exchange of digital data amongst Indonesia's civil aviation systems. Hopefully, this bilateral bond will be further expanded with the help of UTS extensive research experience in next-generation IT services and applications for Australia. By learning the UTS history of partnership with Australian government, I can apply the knowledge as the primary example in my future workplace to support the Indonesian government.

I believe through the Endeavour Leadership Program, I can represent and support Australia to strengthen its capacity as the lead direction for Indonesia and ASEAN in developing their education and research sector, particularly in information technology field. Eventually, when Indonesia has fulfilled its demand for human resources, we can complete the mission of equal implementation of information technology in all area and provide the people with good governance resulting in equal economic development.

Dininta, you should use only the l3rd paragraph of this essay as the basis of your revised essay. That is because the 3rd paragraph directly respond to the question regarding an enhanced collaboration between Australia and Indonesia, which you just have to further develop as this is already implied and discussed on a superficial level in the 3rd paragraph. Try to think big in this paragraph. What sort of existing collaboration is there that you hope to expand upon after your training?

Try to think of your study plan for this course. What sort of masters thesis do you hope to write? How might you relate your research with partnerships in both Australia and Indonesia? How will your thesis , which will use information from Indonesia as well as Australia, help to strengthen Australia's abilities as an educational, training, and research center for your field of interest? That is, when all the information is combined in your thesis paper.