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'pursing a medical vocation' stating career plans,aspirations and use of funds



Monkey2012 1 / 3  
Jun 23, 2012   #1
A. A personal letter stating his/her educational/vocational career plans and aspirations;as well as the planned use of the funds received.
Please advise ! ! ! ! ! Thank you ! !

There is an old saying of "We are a product of our experiences". I was only ten years old the night I found my older sister unresponsive on the floor in our home. At that time I felt utterly and completely helpless, I did not know what to do or how to help her. This was the first time I had to face grief, tragedy and loss. During my senior year of high school, I was playing football and during a tackle my arm was broken in three places, resulting in surgery and months of rehabilitation. From this I was able to learn much about the human body, pain thresh-holds, bone structure and healing time. It was from these, my own personal experiences that I made the decision to pursue a career in the medical field. I believe that nothing could possibly feel better than having the knowledge and experience to be able to save someone's life and allow him or her that extra time to live their life to the fullest or to be able to help someone in the recovery or rehabilitation from a serious injury.

In addition to pursing a medical vocation, I am also a talented athlete. I have been recruited to play Division I football at ****************. With a 4.2 GPA, I will be facing a rigorous workout schedule and a challenging school curriculum, working towards a Bachelor of Science degree, both with a passion that will enable me to multi-task efficiently and effectively. I know what I want and I am willing to work hard to acquire it. I am constantly striving and pushing myself to reach my full potential and I can see these attributes as strengths that will make me into a model college student that will achieve the goal of one day becoming a great doctor.

I am a hard-working, diligent student and I will settle for nothing less than becoming the best in everything that I attempt. I appreciate the value of a good education and the cost of a college education can be a huge financial burden. I sincerely hope that you will consider my application for the **************** scholarship as the funds would be used to help alleviate some of the financial hardship for my family currently paying for college tuition for three students this year. Winning this scholarship would help me in many important ways such as paying for tuition, books, being able to stay in a dorm, and it would definitely bring me one step closer to reaching my long term goal of becoming a doctor, a far reaching impact on my future.

chessman567 5 / 168  
Jun 23, 2012   #2
A very good essay overall, however, you are saying what every other person who wants a scholarship says. If you want to win, then you have to be unique. I can bet you that more than 20 people applying for this scholarship will be saying something relevant to financial hardship, paying for books, tuition, etc. The medical example is a good one, and I think that you should delete the part about staying in a dorm.

I sincerely hope that you will consider my application for the **************** scholarship as the funds would be used to help alleviate some of the financial hardship for my family currently paying for college tuition for three students this year. Winning this scholarship would help me in many important ways such as paying for tuition, books, being able to stay in a dorm, and it would definitely bring me one step closer to reaching my long term goal of becoming a doctor, a far reaching impact on my future.
chessman567 5 / 168  
Jun 24, 2012   #3
much better. I can't find any mistakes, but I think I'm wrong, but you state this fact: Funds will be used to help alleviate some of the financial hardship for my family currently paying for college tuition for three students this year.

Perhaps you could elaborate on that a little more. For example, something like my dad has a part-time job, has to work at night...
OP Monkey2012 1 / 3  
Jun 24, 2012   #4
Thank you so very much ! This has all been very helpful! !


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