I'll try to help you as much as I can:
As I slip into my desk, my French teacher teaches without a textbook
The teacher teaches part sounds redundant.
changing the future of current and future generations in my community.
Again, it sounds redundant. Maybe, the future of the generations to come?
Students stare apathetically at the board,
if the public was not apathetic
I think that if you remove the aphatetically of the first quote here, the sentence would not lose its meaning and you wouldn't be repeating words.
In my opinion this essay isn't very specific, and I think that many of the other kids that apply to Questbridge are going to have similar backgrounds. Try to find in the middle of all the things that you have learnt being from a broken family something that only you can give voice to, and write about it, but you have very good ideas here.
It's only my opinion, I don't have much experience, but good luck!