ESSAY REVIEW ON SWEDEN SCHOLARSHIP MOTIVATION LETTER.

Applying your valuable skills, experience and knowledge to a new job or career

PLEASE HELP ME REVIEW THIS ESSAY ON Describe how you can apply the knowledge and experience gained from your time in Sweden in your organization/company and/or in your home country/region upon your return from Sweden.

I plan to return to my country to set up workshops, seminars and scientific conferences to empower health professionals with basic public health skills, knowledge and strategies to run a healthy Nigeria. The scholarship and master programme will allow me to acquire skills that will help me to create tools and resources for their training. I will depend on the knowledge and skills gained to improve service delivery in my country which has a severe shortage of public health professional, and to pilot a public health project aimed at developing a modern strategist of controlling and prevention of infectious diseases. I will also hope to partner with the Nigerian Center for Disease Control to actualize its National action plan on health security by relating up my knowledge to policy. In the long run, I aim to persuade the government to establish infectious disease institute, which will be specifically for research on emerging infectious diseases in the country through combined studies with world-renowned public health school like Lund university. I will be relying on my robust Swedish Institute Alumni network to accomplish this.

I think you should change some words in your essay to make your action become more specific and interesting:
- "I will depend on the knowledge and skills gained" ----> "I will utilize/ take advantage of..."
- "infectious diseases" ----> what is the most urgent one that you want to prevent?
- "I will also hope" ---------> You should tell them the action you will do to have the chance of partnership with the Nigerian Center for Disease. Such as you have gone to Sweden and had a lot of good relationships with people there so they could introduce you to the Head of that Center.

I hope this will help you!! Wish you get that scholarship ^^

Rearrange the information in the essay to create a more interesting and solid foundation for your post graduate plans. What you have right now are jumbled thoughts that do not have a solid plan of action. If I were to rearrange the sentences, I would separate these sentences into 2 paragraphs. The first paragraph will consist of the following information:

I will partner with the Nigerian Center for Disease Control ... emerging infectious diseases in the country through combined studies with world-renowned public health school like Lund university. I will be relying on my robust Swedish Institute Alumni network to accomplish this.

Then, my second paragraph, which will explain how I will make this plan a reality will focus on:

I plan to return to my country ... modern strategist of controlling and prevention of infectious diseases.

By reversing your presentation, you will present the action plan first, then explain how the studies will help you. It makes better sense than to explain how the studies can help you, even though you do not have an action plan in place first. The action plan will give the studies a purpose and clear application upon your return home.

Thanks for your review, I have written different motivations, I will post them here so that you will review.