"The secret to leadership is simple, do what you believe in" - Chevening Scholarship Essay

Chevening Scholarship fulfillment actually involves leaders who have at one point served and have used this position to influence people, immediate community, bringing about positive change and adding value to the populace.

Here is my little leadership adventure that i want you guys to help me critique before i submitted. Suggestion and feedback are welcome from all angle.

"Leaders are not born but made"

I strongly believe that "Leaders are not born but made" and like a great philosopher Seth Godin once said "The secret to leadership is simple, do what you believe in. Plant a picture of the future. Go there and people will surely follow you. Right from days immemorial(from my Primary education days where i was made the leader of the class and also during my university days where i had the opportunity to serve as Head of Class from 300 level to 500level), i have had the privilege to lead and till recently also build on my leadership experience. Right from childhood primary education, secondary and also undergraduate study days. The most recent of this is during the one-year compulsory National Youth Service Corps days for Nigeria graduate to serve the fatherland, where i was elected as the Facilitator of Agro-Allied Community Development group in Makurdi (Benue State), an arm of the various group of the National Youth Service Corps.

A summary of one the achievement while i served was to bring about a professional relationship between the State Chapter of the Farmers Association of Nigeria and the Agro-allied CDS group where we shared knowledge, skill etc.

During this event, my colleagues and I were exposed to practical aspect of agriculture which was beyond what we had in our university studies in areas such as farming, rearing of livestock, commercial fish breeding and rearing which made five of my colleagues to start an agriculture business, thereby supplementing the ever increasing agricultural and food needs for the coumtry.

on our own part, we taught the farmers about how to use mechanized farming techniques to increase yield, ways to go about assessing Federal Government agricultural grant through Bank of Agriculture, writing business plans to access bank loans and also how to access FG assisted fertilizer program and how to prevent farm attacks, take stock of livestock in modernize way and how to incorporate technology into agriculture.

Also during this one year service to my nation, we initiated a CSR project to help get supplies and distribute to all those villagers ravaged by flood in Benue State as at the start of the year, it wasn't easy persuading my colleagues to part with their insufficient monthly allowance been paid by Federal Government of Nigeria and donate to the people in need and also act as volunteer for this project considering their ever busy schedule, but after i took it up to start as a volunteer and donate, persuaded my other executive colleagues, few other also joined in this mission and together we were able to put smiles on their faces by visiting Internally Displaced Camp in Makurdi, giving out clothing materials, bucket, food and toiletries to the displaced persons and with this little act or gesture, we were able to put smiles on their faces and beam of lot of hope into their heart.

This is just a summary which can still be shortened anyway. Thank you for prompt response and feedback

Hi, if I may give advice. In my opinion, your essay does not adequately describe your leadership, and you should be able to explain more about your duties and obligations in the project being worked on.

And don't forget to show how you influence other people to achieve common goals. Focus on these two things. I'm sure you can explain that

Olaide, stop wasting time by giving a very long definition of leadership with quotes from someone else. You will immediately lose the attention of the reviewer. Don't make yourself sound so important that you try to come off as a leader from the time you were in the crib. These are not important to the discussion. The whole essay could actually be deleted without further consideration due to the length of useless information that you are presenting.

Use an academic example from your college leadership days. Make it count. Choose an event where you actually led and inspired a group. Then explain how those learning moments carried over to your time at the NYSC and how it helped you lead during a pivotal moment in time in relation to an organizational activity. That transition should help you create a relevant and strong representation of your L&I skills.

If you wish to use the National Youth Service Corps leadership and influencing experience, then use the topic that is actually relevant to the discussion instead of presenting all of this useless fluff to the reviewer. Focus on YOUR leadership and influencing abilities. The reviewer could care less about the group experience as indicated by your constant use of the word "we" in this presentation.

Were you the one who led the group to undertake the donation CSR project? If you were, then discuss how you influenced / persuaded your team mates to donate their salary. Why should the reviewer consider this L&I a marked event that highlights your leadership and influencing ability? I sense snippets of that within your presentation but you were so focused on the unimportant presentations of the essay that you failed to use the strongest sample you have in the best manner.

Revise the essay to focus on the activity I indicated. That is your strongest example that just might help you advance to the next level of consideration. The current essay is nowhere near accomplishing that task.