Self Introduction Essay for Exchange Program in Ajou University by an engineering student

Self Introduction

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Thomas DUCLOS. I live with my family in a house in the suburbs of Paris. I have an older sister and a younger brother. My father is the manager of an aluminium carpentry company and my mother is an accountant in my father's company. I often have to go and help my parents during the summer vacations to provide them with extra labor as these are the busiest months for them. The work is manual and exhausting but it allows me to cover part of the cost of my school.

I passed my science high school diploma at the Saint Léon high school in Corbeil-Essonnes, a large city in the south of Paris. I am currently in my fourth semester of the engineering cycle at ECE Paris, in France, and I have to do my fifth semester abroad.

Since I was little, I have always loved video games. When I was in high school, I was very interested in how to make video games by myself, I discovered everything that was behind it, including all the electronic components that make it up, as well as the computer science and the different programming languages that allow to create a game. I was then taken of a passion for the computer programming, it does not pass a day without I try to code.

I already made trips abroad, for periods ranging from two to three weeks. I made two trips to England with my college to discover the English culture. We stayed with host families, which was a great experience. I have taken several trips to Spain with my parents to discover the country during our summer vacations. What I have learned from my many trips is that the culture of each country changes a lot and what is not offensive in one country can be offensive in another, so you have to be careful about the customs of each country.

I would like to major in cybersecurity or big data at ECE Paris in order to become a software development specialist and try to integrate video game companies such as Ubisoft, Nintendo or Electronics Arts. That's why I chose your exchange program because I could see in your brochure that your school offers many courses in computer science and electronics, which could reinforce my knowledge in these subjects. Moreover, I have a passion for Korean culture of video games and manga, and joining your program would allow me to discover it directly in Korea.

Sincerely.

Since this a personal statement, you can try to create a more solid representation of how your interest evolved from the parts that make up the gaming console ( the engineer in you) to how the game is created (coding). From there you can explain why you did not pursue a programming line of study by shifting courses at this point. How would the software aspect help make you a better engineer? Will you pursue gaming development as a professional ?

The truth is,the presentation lacks focus, an underlying theme, and compelling reasons that would qualify you for the exchange program. The approach sounds more like information given in polite conversation to a stranger rather than a member of the admissions committee for a program that you eagerly want to pursue. This presentation lacks passion and fire in relation to the program considerations.

Thank for the reply I will try to make it more personal.

I think its a good one. But for personal statement it needs to be more specific. Since i'm also preparing my personal statement i try to read others too so as to what i have to include in mine. i think it is a good way to improve. that's my opinion