I have solid skills to make my networking abilities grow - Chevening scholarship.

Networking question example

I would be grateful if some of you could help me to improve my answer. I don't know if I'm going to the point or I'm losing it.

The question is:
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will ...

My answer is:
So far in my life, I have lived in three different cities (Zapopan, Huatabampo y Hermosillo in that order) each one is so distinct from the other. The first one is a large city; the second one is almost a town, and the last one is a medium-sized city. Although all of them are in Mexico, the lifestyle changes remarkably as well as the culture, the people, their habits, ways of thinking and even their traditions. It was a challenge to adapt and get used to a different perspective of life, but I did it, and now this has broadened my overview and has served me to relate better to people and to get connexions easily.

Along with my academic history, I assisted to three congresses organised by students where I visited three different industries, took three workshops and went to one networking event. In one of those three participations I served as a collaborator helping to organise the committee, and I met people from different semesters of my career and other careers of my school. Some of those relationships last until now and are productive, so I have backed them and vice-versa.

In my professional development, I started my internships before the term assigned by my school because I was still coursing seven modules of my career; therefore, I was going only part-time. I got this opportunity thanks to a teacher, who saw potential in me in thermodynamics and heat transfer and he gave me the contact information of the engineering manager of a refrigeration company, who was looking for interns. While I was working there, I made excellent relationships with my work partners, my superiors and in general with all the personnel of the company. I helped anyone who asked me to do it because of two reasons: I enjoy helping people and solving problems, and I know this attitude is going to strengthen my network as a result of the people start to trust and count on me, and I can do it on them.

Another excellent example is while working as a freelancer I have met too many people from my area of knowledge and also other fields that are not my strength, but I realise that each tie enriches my network. This experience of my life is the main reason to trust in my networking skills and my capability to inspire and guide others in their profession because even in this phase of my life I am already supporting and motivating my students, and I am pretty sure that with Chevening community I would enhance and use this skills.

In conclusion, I realise that my network is just beginning, and I have to work on it, but also I distinguish that I have solid skills to make it grow. I would enjoy to share others my experience with Chevening and assist and create networking events in Mexico to encourage the people to live this experience.

Alan, you lost it. This is not the kind of networking essay that will impress the reviewer. As an intern, you would have been expected to depict instances when you developed contacts within this company that you were able to retain and harness as current profession related contacts. Instead, you only described how you worked like a office gopher. Helping anyone and everyone concerned. Not once did you depict an instance of network development. As a freelancer, you only spoke of the reasons you developed a network, but did not depict its foundation, growth, development, and usefulness. You are nowhere near a proper networking representation. A true network portrays a career development or usefulness during certain profession related instances on your part. That doesn't exist here. I don't get the point of the essay as you have written it. There is no real network indicated in either instance. Please review some sample networking essays here and follow their examples in order to improve your essay. Focus on describing what your network is for, how it helps you with your career, and how you manage to cultivate it for long term use and applicability in your field of work.

Ok, I understand you. I am going to rewrite my essay focusing on your recommendations and I am going to show it to you again.

Thank you so much for your feedback!!

Hi, I will reiterate the comments by @Holt in previous posts. The essay only focused on creating networks. Nowhere in the essay was there a discussion of nurturing, utilizing and creating new ones.

Hi again. I'm almost finishing it. I just need one paragraph more about my experience as a freelance and the conclusion one. May you @Holt feedback my first two paragraphs? I completely changed the approach and the examples of my networking skills.

Throughout my academic career, I assisted to three editions of the Congreso Internacional de Ingenieria Mecanica y Mecatronica (CIIMM) organised by students where I got two excellent relationships. One of them was the president of the committee in one edition that is still being my close friend, we help each other and talk about our projects and goals. The second link is a co-worker of a doctor of the University of Arizona; he is a mechanical engineer too that have experience with CAD Design and Finite Element Analysis.

In my professional development, I started my internships before the term assigned by my school because I was still coursing seven modules of my career. I got this opportunity thanks to a teacher, who saw potential in me in thermodynamics and heat transfer and he gave me the contact information of the engineering manager of RCR Refrigeracion S.A de C.V. who was looking for interns. While I was working there, I made good relationships with the engineering manager, my co-workers (design engineers), the commercial director, two sellers (mechanical engineers), the human resources manager and the production manager. Because of that and my good development as an internship the company offered me three different jobs: engineering manager and seller both in a subsidiary of the company in another city, and design engineer as well as my co-workers in the parent company.

@iceman2017 By the way, have you finished? Now I can help you with your last essay.

Hi Alan, for the first edited paragraph,

The second link is a co-worker of a doctor ...

You may want to elaborate about how he benefited you in some ways. As now you are merely putting the statement who he is and what does he do. However, it does not mention how these would help your network grow etc.

As for your second edited paragraph, you are throwing many roles in its sentences but it does not appear a strong tie network skills because it is still lacking the explanation of how these networks and yourself closely attached one another and how it helps and relates you to achieve your career goals.

I believe that you should keep one thing in mind when you write your next essay, which is persuasion.

Hope that helps.

@alanmarruenda
The fact that you are making an attempt to give a good presentation is commendable. However, I couldn't see much improvements in your second draft compared to your first.

I believe what this essay is asking of you is; what problems you have encountered personally that seems to limit your professional and personal development, how you have been able to develop strategic relationships with other individuals that helped in overcoming such limitations and how those other individuals benefited by associating with you; more like a win-win scenario.

Hope this helps...cheers!