SOP; What is the evidence supporting the nebula theory of Solar System formation?

Statement of purpose

What is the evidence supporting the nebula theory of Solar System formation? Why are planets and stars round? And why do plants rotates? Questions like this capture my interest in the sun and the solar system.

Studying the sun and our solar system are my passion. It satisfy my curiosity about the world around me in many ways. Because of sun is related to the most phenomena happened to the world which is climate change and space weather and many more.

My undergraduate course has provided me by the knowledge to put me on the way of the research that I am passion for. And during the academic years, I participated in the fourth scientific conference. It was so enjoyable experience that make me comfortable standing in front thousands of people to show them my ideas about my scientific top which is the end of the world.

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It would be nice if you can provide the prompt for this statement of purpose so that we can get a clearer idea of the required content of the essay. At the moment though, this essay needs a lot of work. It is too short and provides too much information at the beginning that is simply filler material. The real interesting part does not start till the middle of the essay and then it comes up under developed and lacking in informative content. Let me give you an example of where your essay falls short.

Avoid filler statements such as your first 2 paragraphs that do not really say anything about the purpose of your application. You are only telling the admissions officer something that they already know. So skip this and go directly the second paragraph.


- This should be the opening statement of your sop because it directly relates to your purpose and passion for enrolling in the course. Develop the story about your participation in the story conference as a building block that inspired you to delve deeper into this course of study.


- This is an irrelevant statement that does not relate to your purpose for enrolling. You need to discuss a bigger purpose for enrolling. Something along the lines of discovering a new planet or the like.

If you can correct and build up these two paragraphs alone, you will develop an effective SOP that we can then check for grammatical errors :-)

i hope that i write it good now

Statement of purpose

My undergraduate course has provided me by the knowledge to put me on the way of the research that I am passion for. And during the academic years, I participated in the fourth scientific conference. It was so enjoyable experience that make me comfortable standing in front thousands of people to show them my ideas about my scientific topic which is the end of the world. It was so odd topic in the scientific conference that make everyone stay till I finish my presentation, it was about the sun and how it affect the earth in a dangerous way by its nuclear reaction by its death and how the other planets, asteroid and storms affect our planet earth, the way the people were lessoning to me very carefully, it make me feel every good feelings in the world.

[...]

This an improvement, but not much of an improvement. Let me offer you some guide questions that can help you better write this essay.

1. What is your undergraduate course? Mention how it relates to your passion for whatever your graduate study course is.
2. You need to develop your participation in the scientific conference. Why did that experience give you a stronger sense of purpose in relation to your graduate study? What did you learn academically from the experience and other participants that influenced you? The additional information you provided is good. But you can discuss more about it in order to create an impact.

3. What is it about the sun and solar system that you feel you need to learn via advanced studies? What is your goal? Do you have a specific experiment you want to conduct or research you want to do?

5. How can being a recipient of this scholarship help you achieve your goals?
6. How do you plan to give back to the scholarship foundation if they give you a scholarship during and after your studies?

If you can answer these questions in essay format, we can further fine tune the content to fall in line with the scholarship requirements. By the way, it will be great if you can share the scholarship essay prompt with us so that we can help you better align the content of your essay with what the scholarship committee is looking for :-)

i hope i make an improvement

Statement of purpose

My undergraduate course has provided me by the knowledge to put me on the way of the research that I am passion for like planetary physics and stellar evolution which allows me to know the lifetime of every size of the stars and of course our sun was one of them, that make me realize how everything on earth and solar system related to the sun. And how amazing was this relation that keep everything in the solar system and the galaxy in chaos balance.

[...]

Once again, what is your undergraduate course and when did you graduate? These are important pieces of information that you need to tell the screening officer of the scholarship committee. They need to know if your choice of study falls within their choice of graduate study majors to support. You need something more at the end of your introduction. I am thinking that maybe you can pose a question about the sun and nebula. Something that you will want to do further research on in the future. Then you can develop the body of the essay around that desire of yours, thus giving you an actual purpose for want to gain higher education in that field.

Don't talk about your friends and how they convinced you to join the competition. That is not relevant to your SOP. Just present facts about the competition and your experience as a participant that helped to entice you to learn more about the sun and the possibility that it could burn out, causing the end of the world for us.

Further develop the paragraph about your college studies. Discuss how you now feel confident that you know enough about the solar system, nebula, and the sun, but that you still have unanswered questions that you hope can be answered by the graduate studies subjects. Reiterate your interest in solving a particular question that you have posed for yourself and how graduate studies can help you answer that.

About the Tubitak scholarship. This is a science based scholarship right? How do you feel your purpose for studies align with their own scholarship mission and vision? What objectives do you share with the foundation? You did not mention how you can give back to them after your studies by working for them if given the chance, perhaps even presenting the results of any scientific discovery you might make to them before presenting it anywhere else in order to bring further prestige to their scholarship foundation. Say something about how you will pay them back for their generosity in an alternative way.

well, This scholarship covers fields of Natural Sciences, Engineering and Technological Sciences, Medical Sciences, Agricultural Sciences, Social Sciences and Humanities.

about how i will pay them back for their generosity in an alternative way, i don't understand it very well but here is my SOP i hope that i fixed everything.

Statement of purpose

My undergraduate course has provided me by the knowledge to put me on the way of the research that I am passion for. I graduated from Space Science department in 2012. Space science allows me to know the lifetime of every size of the stars and of course our sun was one of them that make me realize how everything on earth and solar system related to the sun. And how amazing was this relation that keep everything in the solar system and the galaxy in chaos balance, and what kind of nebula the sun formed from which makes it so suitable for our solar system and earth? And I hope in the near future in my research discover that.

And during the academic years, I participated in the fourth scientific conference. The conference allows students to present their own ideas about any topic they like. It was so enjoyable experience that make me comfortable standing in front thousands of people to show them my ideas about my scientific topic which is the end of the world. There were a lot of interesting topics about the biological clock, endless power ideas, cancer and the human immunodeficiency virus. But my topic was so odd topic in the conference that make everyone stay till I finish my presentation, it was about the sun and how it affect the earth in a dangerous way by its nuclear reaction by its death which will cause the end of the world that we know and how the other planets, asteroid and storms affect our planet earth, the way the people were lessening to me very carefully, it make me feel every good feelings in the world.

From that day and I decided that my major and the field I am passion for will be about the sun and solar system.

And after my academic years that I spend in the university, I learned a lot about the nebula, the sun and the solar system that make me so happy and curiosity about the world around me. But my curiosity are growing and it want to know much more about the sun the most nearest star to the earth and how we still cannot predict accurately how much the strength of the geomagnetic storms that came from the sun and how it will affect the atmosphere of the earth and how we can protect our satellites from such storms, well questions like those capture more than my interest in the sun and the solar system, and make me want to study them in higher level of study.

I see TÜBİTAK scholarship will help me to get the knowledge that I seek and do the experiments that is required to my research and take my level of understanding to the highest level of understanding the sun and the solar system and publish scientific journals under the name TÜBİTAK institute in most popular science magazines to achieve the goal of TÜBİTAK scholarship of increasing the development of knowledge and achieving international cooperation activities in this field.