I started to sew clothes when I was 10; Personal Statement for fashion scholarship

I need a Personal Statement for UK government's scholarship for studying fashion desigh. Can you suggest me any correction?
They ask: talented people who have been identified as potential future leaders across a wide range of fields. Applicants should be high calibre professionals with the personal, intellectual and interpersonal qualities necessary for leadership. Please clearly outline how you meet these criteria, giving examples of your leadership and networking skills as well as an insight into your academic background.

Many people describe me as an energetic, broad-minded and friendly person, who is able to achieve their goals. This time my goal is to get the best education and practical experience in the fashion industry.

I started to sew clothes when I was 10 and never gave up making clothes since then. It's my vocation and I am really good at it. I have a deep knowledge of fabrics and sewing technologies as well as excellent drawing skills. During my study at the institute I was one of the best students and took part in a lot of fashion and art exhibitions. For many years I have been doing custom tailoring for clients creating unique clothes with original style, form and decoration.

My unique trait is a one of a kind combination of skills and experience. When I studied Mathematics at the University of Radioelectronics I learned to think in an abstract way and use an analytical approach. Thanks to my experience in e-commerce I understand sales and delivery processes and know a lot about marketing. My work at the sport club gave me an opportunity to develop and improve my leadership and management skills. In general, I like to take a leading role, at the University I was engaged in different kinds of public activity and took part in the university's self-government, sport competitions and organizing events.

I would be happy to be granted a scholarship for studying the course "Fashion" at the University of the Arts and receive master degree on course completion. I have chosen specifically this university because I know that it gives top-class education as well as a good practical base. I think it is also an opportunity to get a unique experience of working in an international team and learn more about other cultures. For me it is a chance to favour the development of fashion industry in Ukraine, build a successful career, and be able to create quality clothes for people's enjoyment.

Which main points I have to describe in my Home Country Benefit?
(One important selection criterion is the potential contribution that you will make in your home country when you return. Please outline your career plan, post scholarship, and explain how your course choices will help to facilitate this.)

Thanks a lot

Hey Ruchko,

This is a fairly good starting point. I may have repeated this in quite a lot of my forum responses, but your essay reads somewhat like a list of acomplishments that you have had over the past years. Albeit impressive, I would not make my essay read like that. The essay is a place wherein you are to express either your voice or a perspective of yourself not yet evident in your resume/accomplishments list. As a result, you should mold your essay to read more like a story, integrating the other pieces and accomplishments into your story. Also, do not be afraid to put some humor in your piece if you consider yourself funny. Here is how I would start, assuming the following to be true (which it might not be):

Revised: I walked into battle, wielding my terrifying weapons in one hand: what was to come was unknown to me. After all, a artist only figures her work once she is done. What is this "monstrous weapon" you may ask?

"A firearm", says the man of war.
"No", says the noble samurai warrier, "it is a sword".
No, says the eloquent writer, "it is a pencil."

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different; I chose the impossible. I chose: the needle. With my needle, all my interests and desires become apparent, unraveling themselves on elegantly crafted shirts and dresses.

Hope that helps as a starting point, and good luck!

I agree with Yosh, you're telling the reader all your accomplishments, and hey, they are great. But the reader would like you to show, illustrate[i][/i] him/her. Not necessarily all of them, but the one/s that mean the most to you.

who is able to achieveher goals. (it should be his, if you are a male :D )


.... I like if you add some emotions and creativity to these sentences. Show that you are very passionate about this career and very serious about it;

I was only ten years old when I first began to sew clothes. Since then I never lost my passion for this career, instead it grew more and more as I gained experience and knowledge.

... I really don't get the point that you try to stress here.... what is it you mean?
[quote=ruleana]When I studied Mathematics at the University of Radioelectronics I learned to think in an abstract way and usewhile employing an analytical approach. quote]

I now feel you are trying to talk about your diverse skills and exposure.... am i right? If so, you need to improve this para.