Hi, I'm currently preparing to apply for Global-MINDS program. One of the requirements is a personal statement
Personal statement:
- why you are the a suitable candidate for the program and the justification for your choice of mobility path
- how you see that it fits in your life (with your past/present, but also with your future career plans)
It is stated that the statement is preferably less than 800 words (What I have written is 910), so I would like to know which parts I can remove and what I can improve.
Personal Statement
"Orang kota! Orang kota!" A group of boys shouted at me. They were mocking my poor attempt to speak Javanese--a local language spoken by people from the central and eastern parts of Java, Indonesia--as I tried to communicate with a classmate. I am Javanese myself, so are both of my parents. However, we mostly converse in Indonesian at home. "Orang kota", which directly translates to "city person", was used to make fun of my weird Javanese accent, from what I figured at the time. I was deemed too 'urban' that I did not know how to speak Javanese properly, and as a third grade student in a suburban elementary school, it was enough to make me feel secluded and different from other students who seemed to me, spoke and understood Javanese rather effortlessly.
It was not until I graduated from elementary school that I understood the unique character of "orang kota". There are slang words such as "kampungan" in Indonesian and "ndeso" in Javanese. Both words are derived from the word "village" and used interchangeably to remark someone or something as outdated and backwards, and not in a good way. Unlike "orang kota", these two words had gained popularity through a famous advertising jargon and telenovelas at its time. This led me to ponder: If "kampungan" and "ndeso" have negative connotations, doesn't that make "orang kota" supposedly positive? II was livid at first, knowing that while I could have been considered 'good', I was socially relegated to the 'bad' one. Later, I began to question whether it was legitimate for me to even feel bad from being reminded of how 'socially advantaged' I am. But why, I wonder, did it still make me feel awful about myself at the end of the day? This question stayed with me for a long time.
The answer came to me much later during my study in university. I majored in Psychology and took a Social Psychology course. This field of study grants me knowledge about, but not limited to, social imparity and what dynamics are at play. Even though I am now arguably decent in Javanese, I can finally make peace with my past experience after learning about it through the lens of social psychology. There is a theory called Social Identity Theory which suggests that people are fundamentally equipped with an inherent tendency to build their identity based on group membership and put themselves into one or more in-groups. This can be used to explain my experience with my cultural group. It must be borne in mind that numerous cultural groups are made up of wide-ranging subgroups differing in values and identity expressions. I now understand that my profile did not fit an ingroup-majority group at my elementary school even though we shared the same ethnic background, resulting in exclusion and bullying as I was viewed as not part of their group. Being able to come up with this kind of explanation of my personal experience, as well as millions of universal and shared interpersonal experiences among us human beings, is what I think is fascinating and humbling about social psychology. I grew a rapid interest in the field during my time in university, taking elective courses under the field and assisting lecturers for Social Psychology. Now, I dare to expand my knowledge and experience through Global-MINDS.
Out of the three mobility paths available, I have taken an immense interest in Path A: Culture & Diversity. I believe this mobility path will facilitate me to study culture in the diversity of people beyond my current community, especially in Lisbon and Limerick. With the program's requirement to be done in different countries, I am anticipating an opportunity for intercultural experience from each partner university's region. Not only that, as a Southeast Asian woman, I am particularly curious about the diaspora of Southeast Asians in Europe and their intersection to present-day European society, which I am truly looking forward to learning and writing my thesis about. I am interested in conducting research on what personal and cultural values construct the identity of Southeast Asian diaspora and how those interact in a diverse community of migrants in Europe. I would be pleased to complete my master's thesis at ISCTE-University of Lisbon, and I presume that Dr. X, who has an expertise in cross-cultural psychology and values, would be a perfect supervisor for my master thesis. Previously, my bachelor's thesis has touched the topic of personal values in a community of pet owners, and now I am interested to further explore the construct in a wider setting.
Coming from a middle-class family in Indonesia, I cannot think of and afford a self-funded option to pay for my higher education abroad. The Erasmus Mundus funding would thus give me an opportunity to study in Global-MINDS. Moreover, I wish to help amplify the voice of marginalized communities and minority groups struggling with injustice and exclusion. My plan after the program is to work for international organizations that focus on advocating for their rights as a participant of society, as well as celebrating their cultural heritage without prejudice. I aspire to promote intergroup interactions and create exchange programs that will allow people from different communities to meet and learn about each other better. I understand that the path to tolerance and respect in multicultural society is not easy, but I am willing to walk alongside like-minded people to prove to the world that we still have so much hope.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4785 I cannot say that this is an effective personal statement at this point. The strength of your interest in learning about the theories and its application in your community, both of which are narrow pictures to consider. There has to be a wider point of view presented. The point of view that shows a widened career path based upon this international exposure. Go beyond your home country. You are going to be an Erasmus Mundus alumna, Work with it. How will your career path help promote the scholarship? How can you say that your personal world will develop at the same pace as your professional after this exposure? Consider a more solid career path presentation for this discussion. It is too vague right now.
