Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width   Posts: 2


Personal Statement for KGSP - Master in Southeast Asian Studies.



irmao 1 / -  
Mar 4, 2020   #1

KGSP Scholarship application



Hello, I am applying for the KGSP through embassy track, and I need some reviews on my personal statement. All kinds of feedback is welcomed. Thank you!

It was in late 2017 when the world is busy with the escalating of the US-China Trade War and the reemergence of protectionism; President Moon Jae-in announced that South Korea is shifting its focus to strengthen the ties with Southeast Asian countries by stating his intention to visit all of the Southeast Asian countries. As a student of international relations which have a keen interest in Southeast Asia region, it was a piece of terrific news, because Southeast Asia has finally got recognition from one of the most significant power in Asia which have a tremendous effect on the Indonesian society through its robust public diplomacy.

After graduating from XXX University, I started working in the XXX division in the XXX. During my tenure in my office, I found out that Southeast Asian countries have made considerable progress, particularly on economic development, despite experienced turbulent and violent events for the past 50 years. Several Southeast Asian nations achievements that I have witnessed during my time in my office are, Vietnam is thriving to become a new manufacturing powerhouse in the region, and Singapore has strengthened its position as a hub of global finance. To appease my curiosity towards the development of Southeast Asia, I decided to prove it with my own eyes by visiting several Southeast Asian countries in mid-2019, and it turns out that I was deeply impressed by the progress that the region has made.

In November 2019, I found out that the South Korean Government has taken its approach towards Southeast Asia to the next level. A year after President Moon Jae-in has established the Presidential Committee on the New Southern Policy, he has already fulfilled his promise to visit all of the Southeast Asian countries and held ROK-ASEAN summit in the same month. I realized it is the right time to be able to learn more about the Southeast Asian region in South Korea, and I decided to do extensive research relating to the prospect of studying in South Korea. Eventually, I found out that the Global Korea Scholarship (GKS) can give me the opportunity to achieve my aspiration as an expert in international relations in Southeast Asia.

The reason I want to continue for a master's degree in Southeast Asian Studies in South Korea is because South Korea has an extensive network of research institutes that can give an excellent opportunity to develop my intellectual capacity to understands the complexity of Southeast Asia region. In addition to those mentioned earlier, in my view, studying in South Korea is a perfect choice for prospective students from developing countries such as myself. Not only learning about the culture, but we can also take a lesson on democracy from one of the most mature democracies in Asia.

After carefully considering the curriculums and institutions in partnership of the universities of my choice (Yonsei University, Sogang University, and Pusan National University), I firmly believe that studying Southeast Asian studies through GKS in these universities could help me to achieve my career goals and develop my knowledge not only concerning Southeast Asia but also on South Korea as one of the most influential countries in the world at the moment. I might not have rich experience related to South Korea in the past, and also not the best applicant in terms of academic achievement. However, I have a strong belief that I have a remarkable passion for my subject of choice.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Mar 4, 2020   #2
The main problem with this essay is that you do not really respond to the professional aspect of the discussion. You are not making any reference to your profession and how your previous education has helped you reached a point where a Korean education is important for you to be able to take the next step in your career. Your sole focus was on the "reasons for studying in Korea" and nothing more. That is all that this essay discusses and that is why this essay will not help you progress past the first round. Revise the essay keeping in mind the required information from the prompt guidelines. Make sure to deliver on all those aspects. Reduce the focus on the motivation for your studies in Korea. That should not take up 90 percent of your essay. That should only be 40 % at the most. Try to connect everything to a professional motivation or objective for wishing to pursue this course and studies in Korea. The essay sounds more like publicity for Korea instead of a masters degree motivation letter.


Home / Scholarship / Personal Statement for KGSP - Master in Southeast Asian Studies.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳