Personal statement for Loughborough University graduate school african trust fund

Hello everyone, i recently got admission offer to study Msc. Finance and management at Loughborough University. Am seeking for scholarship and i need a personal and financial statement.

Please kindly proofread to make the necessary corrections.

PERSONAL STATEMENT

Sustainable agricultural development

My purpose for applying to graduate school is to both expand on my existing knowledge and to create additional opportunities for myself in the future. I believe that graduate school will prepare me for a successful and challenging career in the agricultural industry. I have always been a very academically determined and studious individual, hence why I know a master degree in finance and management at the reputable Loughborough University would be my definite step after my undergraduate studies at the prestigious Landmark University in order to successfully accomplish all my desired goals in Agriculture and towards achieving food security in my country Nigeria.

I recently got a conditional admission offer to study Msc. Finance and Management with the believe this degree will set me in good stead for my career in the agricultural industry in Nigeria. During my undergraduate research studies on "Profitability and Technical Efficiency of Broiler Production in Lagos State Poultry Estate", from my findings; poultry farmers interviewed were faced with the problem of low productivity, disease and inadequate finance which is caused by lack of record keeping which is a managerial problem. I have researched this degree and I believe I have the expertise, leadership, motivation and necessary skills to successfully complete any research given and course works within the specified period of study at Loughborough University.

At Landmark University 3rd Convocation Ceremony, I won the award of the "Best Graduating Student in the Department of Agricultural Extension and Rural Development" with the C.G.P.A of '4.80' (96%) and also won the award for "Agro-revolution Vision Driven Chancellor's Award". The aforementioned meritorious awards were possible as a result of my progressive quest for excellence at every given endeavours.

During my undergraduate studies at Landmark University, I was engaged in leadership position in several capacities. Firstly, I held the position of the "Residency Hall Director of Daniel Hall at Landmark University Hall of Residence. I supervise weekly community development and environmental activities, facilitates effective communication between students and hall administrators, mobilise and lead other students to any university gatherings and report promptly any incident that requires urgent attention and intervention at the Directorate of Student Affairs, Landmark University. I also served as the Financial Secretary of the "Prison Support Team" under the big umbrella of Landmark University Liberation Army, a non-profit voluntary community development/charity organization from 2013 to 2015. I was involved in keeping financial records of all activities geared towards reaching out to inmates at various prisons across Nigeria, supporting inmates with financial donations and other items required for well-being of prisoners.

Towards attaining a sustainable development in Nigeria, I was involved in the "National Youth Service Corps". A para-military endeavour of engaging young graduates in an organized activity that would contribute to the local, national and global community. It also affords me the opportunity for self improvement, development and empowerment. I voluntarily joined a team tagged "Rural Rugged" wuth a quest for reaching out to communities at Kaduna state of Nigeria. We distributes clothing materials, food items, and helps homeless war striken people to find reason to live again by being an agent of hope to them, this was achieved by sharing love and caring for them personally.

After my graduation at Landmark University, I volunteered to work in Colossus Investment Limited in order to gain practical experiences and understand the world of works. In my quest for excellence, me and my team solved the problem of cashew seeed wastage due to excessive heat, we worked as a team and successfully came out with a local means of absorbing moisture by inventing dry bags. I was also awarded the "Junior staff of the month" due to my hardwork and continious quest for excellence in every endeavours.

The Loughborough University Graduate School Development Trust Africa Scholarship will help in actualizing my dreams of solving the agricultural problem of agro-management by coming to Loughborough University to study. It will contribute immensely to the development of my country Nigeria by making me self reliant, financially intelligent in alleviating the managerial problems of Agricultural industry. The knowledge acquired at Loughborough University will be used to set up an Agro-consulting firm aimed at helping livestock farmers increase their productivity and improve their standards of living. The knowledge would be used to set up a training workshop to motivate and inspire young agripreneurs in order to attain a sustainable agricultural development in Nigeria.

Olorunwa, the personal statement is okay but lacks a presentation of the relevance of your studies to the programs that the scholarship supports. Why do you believe that you deserve a scholarship from this foundation? How does the foundation interests tie in with your personal or professional goals? There is a lack of depiction as to how the scholarship can really help you become a future success. It has to be more than just a mere mention at the end of the essay. It should be an integral part of the opening statement or, presented in the second paragraph at the very latest. Present it in accordance with your work experience if possible. Your academic performance is a good indication of the kind of student that you will become. However, as a masters student, you need to also show how your professional side supports the need for these studies. Exemplary employees are also considered a potential leader in his field because of the way that he applies his theoretical learning to his work conditions. If the scholarship committee can make the connection between all of these factors, you may come across as more deserving of the scholarship.

@Holt
Thanks for your comment. what about this

PERSONAL STATEMENT
"Education is a companion which no future can depress, no crime can destroy, no enemy can alienate it and no nepotism can enslave"
It is this maxim that urged me to think higher right from my young age that success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." The practice of this aphorism made me diligent besides developing my love towards work. I have completed my Bachelor's degree in Agriculture from the reputed Landmark University. During my undergraduate research studies on "Profitability and Technical Efficiency of Broiler Production in Lagos State Poultry Estate", from my findings; poultry farmers interviewed were faced with the problem of low productivity, disease and inadequate finance which is caused by lack of record keeping which is a managerial problem. In order to learn more about the intricacies involved in the area, proffer solutions to the conundrum of agriculture, expand on my existing knowledge and to create additional opportunities for myself in the future, motivated me to apply to study Finance and Management with the believe this degree will set me in good stead for my career in the agricultural industry in Nigeria. I have researched this degree and I believe I have the expertise, leadership, motivation and necessary skills to successfully complete any research given and course works within the specified period of study at Loughborough University. My long term objective is to see myself as a solution provider to the problem of management in agriculture and want to be a part of the existing race to create a more food secured tomorrow and I envision Loughborough University School of Business and Economics as a path towards my advancement in this direction and towards achieving food security in my country Nigeria.

After graduating from Landmark University with a First Class Honors degree in Agricultural Extension and Rural Development, and also won the award of the "Best Graduating Student in the Department with the C.G.P.A of '4.80' (96%) and also won the award for "Agro-revolution Vision Driven Chancellor's Award". The aforementioned meritorious awards were possible as a result of my progressive quest for excellence at every given endeavors. I am now seeking scholarship support to study at the prestigious Loughborough University. My interest in agriculture, finance, management and development stems from my lasting interest in food security issues. Accordingly, my current research interests in agribusiness require a deeper understanding of finance and management. As a Master's student in the UK, I intend to write articles on these subjects from the perspective of someone born, raised, and educated in Africa. I will bring a unique and much-needed perspective to my graduate program at Loughborough University, and I will take the technical and theoretical knowledge from my graduate program back with me to Nigeria to further my career goals as a practitioner of food security and community development.

I have always been a very academically determined, studious individual with efficient leadership capacity. During my undergraduate studies at Landmark University, I was engaged in leadership position in several capacities. Firstly, I held the position of the "Residency Hall Director of Daniel Hall at Landmark University Hall of Residence. I supervise weekly community development and environmental activities, facilitates effective communication between students and hall administrators, mobilize and lead other students to any university gatherings and report promptly any incident that requires urgent attention and intervention at the Directorate of Student Affairs, Landmark University. I also served as the Financial Secretary of the "Prison Support Team" under the big umbrella of Landmark University Liberation Army, a non-profit voluntary community development/charity organization from 2013 to 2015. I was involved in keeping financial records of all activities geared towards reaching out to inmates at various prisons across Nigeria, supporting inmates with financial donations and other items required for well-being of prisoners.

Towards attaining a sustainable development in Nigeria, I was involved in the "National Youth Service Corps". A para-military endeavor of engaging young graduates in an organized activity that would contribute to the local, national and global community. It also affords me the opportunity for self-improvement, development and empowerment. I voluntarily joined a team tagged "Rural Rugged" with a quest for reaching out to communities at Kaduna state of Nigeria. We distributes clothing materials, food items, and helps homeless war stricken people to find reason to live again by being an agent of hope to them, this was achieved by sharing love and caring for them personally. I also participated in a fellowship program at Landmark University, where I gained greater insight into agricultural development by teaching courses on agripreneurship, free market economics, and development in needy communities. I worked with women in rural areas of Nigeria to setup income-generating projects such as the liquid soap-making project. Managing such a project gave me great insight into how many simple initiatives can transform lives.

To augment my theoretical understanding of agribusiness, I volunteered to work with Colossus Investment Limited as an Executive Assistant to the General Manager. This not only enhanced my problem solving skills, but also developed my skills in research and project management. In my quest for excellence, I and my team solved the problem of cashew seed wastage due to excessive heat, we worked as a team and successfully came out with a local means of absorbing moisture by inventing dry bags. I was also awarded the "junior staff of the month" due to my hard work and continuous quest for excellence in every endeavors.

The Loughborough University Graduate School Development Trust Africa Scholarship has a history of awarding scholarships to promising young students from the developing world in order to bring knowledge, skills and leadership abilities to their home communities. The multidisciplinary focus of the finance and management program I want to study will provide me with the necessary skills to creatively address the agricultural, economic and social development challenges and develop sound management policies for Nigeria. It will contribute immensely to the development of my country Nigeria by making me self-reliant, financially intelligent in alleviating the managerial problems of Agricultural industry. The knowledge acquired will be used to set up an Agro-consulting firm aimed at helping livestock farmers increase their productivity and improve their standards of living. The knowledge would be used to set up a training workshop to motivate and inspire young agripreneurs in order to attain a sustainable agricultural development in Nigeria.

I thank you for your time and consideration for this prestigious award.