Why I want to study Portuguese in Brazil

Hello, I have to write an essay for a study abroad program, and I just needed some suggestions.

Here are the questions:

Please address the following points in your first statement: Why have you chosen this language to study? How will studying this language in Project GO contribute to your development as an officer? How will your Project GO participation impact the military and future U.S. Military officer corps? If you are applying for a study abroad program, what do you hope to gain from the experience? What makes you a good candidate for Project GO? (If you are applying to more than one Project GO language, please address each language. ​(​500​ ​words​)

Here is my essay:

taking part in the Project Go program

In the third grade, my mother transferred me to a predominately Hispanic school named Lincoln Marti. At most, there were only two or three black students in my class, which forced me to adapt to the cultural differences I had between many of my classmates. But in the four years that I attended Lincoln Marti, I adopted their Hispanic culture with pride. While I am not Hispanic myself, I possess a very strong drive to learn more about not only Hispanic but Latin culture. (Hence the reason, I chose to study Portuguese in Brazil.)

Studying Portuguese will aid my development as an Air force officer by helping me to become an officer who can relate with airmen who may be from a foreign nation. For instance, my unit could include an airman who speaks Portuguese or who is from Brazil. Speaking his language and being aware of his cultural background could help me understand him better. In addition, my ability to speak Portuguese will give me the ability to teach other airmen. Therefore, contributing to the Air Forces goal of producing more members proficient in a foreign language.

From my experience abroad, I hope to learn about the foundations of Brazilian customs and cultures and become proficient in the basics of Portuguese. I enjoy learning about the human brain and the way individuals perceive the world very much. A big part of understanding the perception of others is by understanding the environment they dwell in. Thus, learning about their culture will give me some insight as to why they perceive the world as they do and hold certain ideals. Also, because I will be surrounded by individuals who speak their native language, I will be forced to adapt. As a result, my language skills will be exercised rapidly and the process in which I learn Portuguese will be catalyzed through Project Go.

Visiting a foreign country is a wonderful experience, however, if an individual is not open to new perspectives, then they will miss out on the opportunity to learn new things. I am a good candidate for Project Go because I am open to new perspectives. Whether an idea expressed by someone else agrees with my predisposed beliefs, I am still willing to acknowledge their viewpoint and view the problem from another angle.

The United States Air Force not only must work with different branches but with different militaries of various countries throughout the world. Successful partnerships are contingent upon recognizing and respecting different cultures. I believe it is a matter of time until the United States and Brazilian Military must work together to ensure peace and stability in South America. Learning Portuguese would enable me to contribute directly to this mission and not only operate in Brazil and Portugal. Thus, taking part in the Project Go program can allow me to impact the future of the military by bringing awareness of cultural sensitivity and play a key role in case a conflict ever arises.

Hi Lee,
This is a good essay, however you have to emphasis your strong reasons why you are a good candidate for Project GO, how your background and what you will learn in project go will develop your career and impact the military and future U.S. Military officer corps. I am a bit uncomfortable with words "black students", I do not think these are a good words for essay, perhaps you can find the other words. Just my two cents. Good luck with your study abroad.

Hey Lee,
I like the essay but I feel as if you don't go in-depth enough on why it will contribute to your development as an officer. I see that you stated some examples, but you're not entirely answering the question. Perhaps, you should state why it would have such a profound effect on you as you grow in rank.

Also, in the first paragraph how about saying two or three other black students?

Theodore, it appears that your essay is focused on the social aspect of the project. You are not predominantly touching on the military application of your language studies, which is the whole point of Project GO. Your interest in language development needs to have a central military application, particularly in the Air Force since that is your defense department choice. It is not right that you placed that discussion as the shortest paragraph at the end of the essay. Every paragraph you discuss must include an insight into a military application. How will learning about the Hispanic culture, through your study of Portuguese have a clear application in your military life? As a military officer, what makes the learning of Portuguese more important than learning Arabic or Kurdish? Why Portuguese when the United States has current military activities in Syria? Why not Kurmanji instead? These are languages with far greater military importance and application. Explaining why you believe that language learning should shift from the Middle East languages, then you will be able to develop a foundation for the importance of learning Portuguese.

Remember, you are being asked to explain how your participation in the project will impact the military and future military U.S. Military officer corps. So you have to include an explanation of the defensive importance of studying this language in relation. What is the military application? You said that there is a need for a collaboration between the two countries to keep peace and stability in South America. Explain that further. If you can prove a true and important military application for the language learning you have chosen, then your essay will be stronger and more competitive.

I find that the essay is lacking in the representation of what makes you a good candidate for the course. Other than attending a predominantly Hispanic school and your being a minority in the population, there is no strong and true reference to any character traits, skills, or accomplishments that could prove your worthiness as a scholar under this program.