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Scholarship essay on a subject of personal importance - NTU essay for scholarship



marrrr 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2020   #1

learning from cats



Cats are my favourite animal. My parents weren't too fond of animals, so I didn't have any opportunity to look after a pet. Luckily, my neighbourhood had a lot of stray cats, which allowed me to feed and play with them regularly. I noticed that people were more reluctant to approach cats as opposed to dogs. Maybe it's because cats are seen as ungrateful and unappreciative. They may not act nor look the part, but cats can be as affectionate as any typical golden retriever.

Humans are accustomed to outwardly, physical, and over-the-top acts of love, ignoring the subtle, minute details that a cat does to exhibit its endearment. I assume this holds true to all kinds of relationships and situations; which includes people that we interact with on a daily basis.

Personally, I prefer a cat's way of showing affection rather than a dog's. It shows a truer image of one's sympathy, showcasing their innermost raw feelings and care towards another person. A more typical way of doing this is by preparing a big surprise party for a friend, or shell out a couple of hundred dollars for that shiny new ring your partner has been eyeing for the last few weeks.

In my book, compassion does not require you to do a grandeur gesture to show that you're sincere. Simple but genuine deeds such as reminding my loved ones to take care of themselves, opening the door for strangers, or even just checking in on a friend I haven't talked to in a while, are gestures that actually show whether someone is compassionate or not.

To conclude this, I believe that compassion can be done in a number of ways, most of which does not demand a person to do a colossal act to be considered sincere.

Any kinds of suggestions, critics, and advice is highly appreciated :).

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Dec 15, 2020   #2
It would be better to leave the reference to dogs out of the essay. Always be politically correct. Try not to accidentally insult a dog lover reviewer, who may have accidentally been assigned to review your paper. You do not want to lose your slot based on a technicality or accidentally insulting someone. Which is what that presentation sentence in this essay does.

Your second to the last presentation does not tie back to the discussion of why cats are important to you. The discussion has to come full circle in the end, without the "to conclude" bit because that sections tells the reviewer that you lost track of the presentation. You started by discussing the importance of cats, and ended with a discussion reference to compassion instead.
OP marrrr 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for your feedback ! I was wondering if I take out the dog reference, and try to connect cats with how I learn how to be compassionate, would it be more acceptable and cohesive ?


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