Booker T. Washington once quoted, "If you uplift yourself, you should lift up others too." After my graduation from Temple University, I continued my studies at Temple Medical School. My prestigious degree from Temple University enabled me to work alongside of the world's best physicians. 10 years after my graduation from Temple University, my most valuable achievement will have to be my scholarship foundation. I have learned the importance of giving back to my community, not only with my work but with an education too. Currently, my scholarships are paving the way for many students to receive a college degree from the University that I am so proudly to be associated with.
Over the years, being an alumni to the university is continuing to help me build an outstanding resume within my field.
this was all i can get can u guyes help me with some ideas
You are quoting. He is not quoting.
Booker T. Washington once quoted said, "If you uplift yourself, you should lift up others too." After my graduation from ...
Let's not say Temple University a third time in a row. It gets repetitive.
10 Ten years after my graduation from Temple University , my most valuable achievement will have to be my scholarship foundation. ---- the reaer will know that you mean ten years after Temple instead of med school.
I have learned the importance of giving back to my community, not only with my work but with an education too. Let's replace this vague sentence with a sentence about how you will establish scholarships.
Currently, my scholarships are paving the way for many students to receive a college degree from the University with which I am so proud to be associated.
:-)
I believe in your ambitions however, I also believe that you should be more realistic when describing your goals. It would be smart to use more examples of how you will do these things and how you plan to work with "the worlds best physicians".
If you were applying for an preforming arts degree, then you should display your imagination.
I believe the university wants to know how you will be an assets to them and make them look good in a realistic way. Don't hurt your chances with generic or far fetched responses.
Here are some ideas:
After receiving my bachelor's degree in public health from Temple University, I thrived academically and professionally for an entire decade. in the past ten years I have been doing extremely well.
I have so much for which to thank Temple that this one letter cannot adequately describe my appreciation. withstand the words.
Use a hyphen:
...vibrant and intelligent 2 year-old little girl.
My experiences and accomplishments at Temple helped me become the woman I am today, so thank you, Temple, for being the start to my professional life.
This is very impressive. I like the first paragraph a lot!!
2 year old two year-old
The foundation of our family is based on consists of our experiences at Temple.
After receiving my bachelor's degree in public health from Temple University, I thrived academically and professionally for an entire decade. I continued my studies in the medical school program, and now as a graduate, and in my last year of residency, I am finally about to receive my white coat. In the many years I have invested in school, I am now able to look back and appreciate the hard and good times I have endured. I am proud I chose Temple...
Is there any ideas on what i should add so i could make 300 words
The most important thing is to be specific about what you want to be doing in 10 years. You NEED to be able to fill 10 pages with such an explanation. I think I could fill 100 pages with my idea of what I want to do in 10 years. You should start by making a list of the important things -- related to your career -- that you want to be doing. Your life is worth more than a few hundred words. Add a paragraph about another aspect of your envisioned career. :-)
I had already 260 so i just added to the sentences to make it 300...so now its 300 but i want to make sure its flowing ok and if anyone can help me reword it
Temple has prepared equipped me with the confidence, strength and knowledge to go... ---- just an idea...
During the many years of schooling at Temple, I also ...
With my taking part in Temples Study Aboard Abroad program I have been able to receive the experience and a headstart in pursuit of my dream. My attendance at Temple University played is the key in the ignition, starting my the very high powered engine that drives me toward my envisioned future as a ___________. My experiences and accomplishments at Temple helped ...
:-)
thanks for all your help i love the way it is coming along
After receiving my bachelor's degree in public health from Temple University, I thrived academically and professionally for an entire decade. I continued my studies in the medical school program, and now as a graduate, and in my last year of residency, I am finally about to receive my white coat. In the many years I have invested in school, I am now able to look back and appreciate the hard and good times I have endured. I am proud I chose Temple as the school to help me accomplish my goals. Temple has equipped me with the confidence, strength and knowledge to go out into the professional world and become the best. I have so much for which to thank Temple that this one letter cannot adequately describe my appreciation.
During many years of schooling at Temple, I also met my lifelong love, and with our union we share a very vibrant-intelligent two year-old. Having to be a role model to my little girl, I set high expectations for my family and myself. As a family we are now saving for the purchase of our first home, where we can install the principles of an important education and the perusal of dreams. In my near future, I also plan to travel around the world working with Doctors Without Borders and help save people around the world. With my taking part in Temples Study Abroad program I have been able to receive experience and a head start in pursuit of my dream. My attendance at Temple University is the key to the very high powered engine that drives me toward my envisioned future as a doctor. Temple helped me become the very strong-dynamic woman I am today, so thank you, Temple, for being the start to my personal and professional life.
Yes, this is getting to be a pretty powerful essay! Good progress... Be careful not to change it too much or you might ruin the naturalness...