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UNCF Scholarship : an internship with United Water



deleakinola50 1 / -  
Dec 25, 2011   #1
Why do I deserve this internship and scholarship

I have several reasons why I am the most qualified applicant to be chosen for an internship with United Water. I am currently a Human Resource Management major at Morgan State University, although the classes I take provide me with adequate knowledge in the field of management; I take my time outside of the classroom to expand my management knowledge. I have been currently indulging myself in reading The Manager's Guide to Becoming Great by Lawrence Pingree, which has given me a multitude of wisdom on how to become a better manager and leader. In even more efforts to increase my knowledge I have also been reading The HR Answer Book: An Indispensable Guide for Managers and Human Resources Professionals by Shawn Smith (JD) and Rebecca Mazin, this book addresses 200 question HR professionals are most likely to be asked to address. My reasoning in reading this material is to show how serious I am in my craft and wanting to become the best HR professional possible.

My ambition for success in my field is great reason for why I believe I deserve this internship, my overall goal is to become a Human Resource Director and climb the corporate ladder in order to obtain am executive level position within a company. I hope to become an executive so I can improve how a company is run and introduce new innovative ideas. With great ambition steps must be taken in order to achieve these feats, I have secured to internships in preparation for my future career, within these internships I have witnessed how Human Resource Directors, Managers and Technicians all operate on a daily basis. Witnessing these professionals operate has increase my interest in the field and given me a better understand on what it takes for HR operations to run adequately

Besides my strong interest in the Human Resource field I have other assets which I believe make me the strongest candidate for this internship. My interest in the community is very important to me; I have participated in various activities strengthening those around displaying my leadership skills. I have participated in a mentoring program which helps in developing local youth from a nearby elementary school not far from my college Morgan State University. I also participated in over thirty hours of community service at my local community center assisting in helping run the entire facility. Community involvement not only shows my care for the community around me but it also shows my ability to work with others, which is key in our society. In today's world young adults my age are more concerned with fashion trends and worldly material things rather than the people and world around them; I take pride in attempting to be an example to show that there is more to the world than those things. Some hesitate to assume leadership role, I love assuming leadership position, and view it as a challenge.

The world is a huge and is in need of changes in many areas, I don't just limit my potential to Human Resources I plan on making efforts to effect society and impact the entire world. My ability, skill, character and academic achieve I believe warrants me an internship with such a reputable company such as United Water. My background proves I am a leader who is not afraid to take initiative and lead others. I would be honored to work around and with the business professionals of United Water, this experience if given would be longed cherished and appreciated one.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I have several reasons why I am the most qualified applicant to be chosen for an internship with United Water. There is no way to support an argument that you are the most qualified candidate. You do not know the other candidates. Also, this sentence is a boring way to begin the essay. I think you should replace it with a sentence that will express a unique idea, one that may be intriguing to the reader.

... given me a multitude of wisdom on---No, use the word multitude with a countable noun. Wisdom is not a countable noun. You can replace multitude with "reservoir" or "wealth"...

I hope to become an executive so I can improve how a company is run and introduce new innovative ideas. ---Wel, okay, but what philosophy guides you? What unique ideas might you introduce? You do not have to be ready yet to contribute ideas at an executive level, but if you want to aspire to make a contribution like this you should go a step further and express some ideas or a moral/business philosophy that guides you.

...field and given me a better understand on what it takes for HR operations to run adequately --- You left out the period here.

My interest in the community is very important to me; I have participated in various activities strengthening those around displaying my leadership skills. ---This sentence should be revised, but I think you do not need a suggestion about how to do it, because you write very well. The problem is with "strengthening those around..." Maybe the word "around" should be changed to "pertaining to..."

My ability, skill, character and academic achieve I believe warrants warrant me an internship with such a reputable...

:-)
karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 26, 2011   #3
Honestly, I got bored rather quickly and didn't finish reading it. It didn't really grab my attention.


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