University of Auckland Scholarship Essay_Skill and Knowledge gained from the study

Hi everyone,
I would like to apply for scholarship in University of Auckland. Please give any comments on my response to the essay question. There is no spesific word/character counts limitation

Really appreciate your comment.

Describe specifically what skills and knowledge you want to gain from your study

possibilities arising from the studies at the university of Auckland

Studying Master in International Business enables me to acquire strong theoretical education, hands-on leadership, and practical experiences about managing organization in global context. The course will extent my understanding in international market, particularly in Asia. As a new emerging market, Asia become an attractive destination for foreign investment. However, specific national regulations may result a challenging barrier to enter the market. Hence, the knowledge of Asian business and economic environment will become a principal requirement for a business leader. In addition, I will have a chance to develop my skill in analyzing and developing resource-effective operation strategic for global organization. Finally, I would like to emphasize my learning and research on strategies for technology start-up companies to enter and survive in emerging market especially in Asia

Posman, this prompt is requiring you to prove that you have a familiarity with the university you are applying for admission to, as well as the program of study that you are going to be undertaking. Note that you are being asked to inform the reviewer about what knowledge and skills you hope to acquire from this course of study. So you need to mention specific courses and programs that will directly relate to your line of study. This includes any reference to internships or training programs that the university offers its students. Right now, you do not mention any specific, university and program related information that can tell the reviewer how you plan to excel as a student in the program. You now what you want to learn about, therefore, there are particular areas of study you will wish to concentrate on. Explain how those classes will help you gain additional information and knowledge. Don't generalize the essay. Be as specific as possible regarding the classes and knowledge you hope to acquire through your studies there.

Thank you @Mary Rose for the feedback.
I have revised the essay based on your comment. Please give any comment or feedback to develop my essay.

Studying Master in International Business enables me to acquire strong theoretical education, hands-on leadership, and practical experiences about managing organization in global context. The program offers the Competing in Asia course which will extent my understanding in Asian business and economic environment. The course will give me knowledge about specific national regulation of some Asian countries. It is also equip me with ability to identify opportunities and challenges resulted from the regulation. Then, I will have a chance to develop my skill in analyzing and developing resource-effective operation strategic to produce products and services for global organization through the Global Operation Management course. In addition, I will have valuable experience to apply my knowledge in real business situation through the Consultation Project with a company or organization offered by the program. Finally I would like to specialize my study in strategic management. I would like to emphasize my study on developing corporate strategy to compete in emerging market.

Tks,