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University environment is a representation of our world.



terminal28 4 / 20  
Sep 18, 2018   #1

the motivation of Studying in the UK



Prompt: Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

My current position as Secretary to the Ambassador and Bilingual Translator at the (foreign Embassy 123) in (my country) demands that I stay current with happenings in the field of International Relations and to support work which further strengths relations between both countries. While I have gained substantial exposure to the inner workings of relations between my country and one of its friends, I need to acquire the formal knowledge and skills to advance from my current position to that of Foreign Service Officer in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in partnership with the UK development initiative through its soon to be opened High Commission here. Studying in the UK would provide me with world class quality education taught in my native language and the optimal knowledge and analytical skills that are crucial to success in my career. Comprising culturally diverse students, the UK university environment serves as a microcosm of the world which is fitting for my field of study.

I chose International Relations MA at (University 1) because of the reputation of its political school. Since my bachelor's degree is in a different field, the foundational course Theories of International Relations will serve to introduce me to the major theories and traditions in this field. The effective communication (and problem-solving) skills obtained through the attractive learning styles of discussion, debate and small-group work are crucial in the fulfillment of work duties as a Foreign Service Officer supporting the work of the UK in delivering developmental assistance to my country. The module International Negotiation is a good training ground for me to apply knowledge and skills gained from negotiation simulation exercise to my post-study and long term career work as a diplomat representing my country abroad. Through the execution of research essay, the research and analytical skills obtained are a critical component of and will be applied in my future duties as a FSO and Diplomat.

I chose International Relations MSc at (University 2) because, in addition to the course content, the annual study trip to (name of country) combined with the (John Doe) speaker series will supplement lectures and provide exposure to real world situation from experts in this field. I follow the International Relations at (university 2) Facebook page and I observe the class size and teaching methods to be suited to my learning style and ... (career enhancing opportunities). The core course International Relations Research will allow me to research issues of importance to (my country) as a future ambassador. "International Relations and Development" fits perfectly as I hope to work in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to support the work of the UK Commission in its development of (my country).

International Relations and International Law MA at (University 3) because completing the core module International Law will deepen my understanding of how rules affect relationships between my country and other countries. This course has a high percentage of graduates who work in areas of foreign and international affairs similar to my professional prospects.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Sep 19, 2018   #2
Nicole, you have written more than the 500 word maximum for this essay even without the mention of the actual university names and other information. You n eed to cut back on some information in order to meet the word count. Believe me, providing up to 450 words will be more beneficial to your essay as opposed to writing 500 words. The reviewer should only read relevant details in the shortest time possible due to the volume of essay considerations he must complete in a day. Write a short but memorable essay.

Try to shorten the motivation statement. This is running extra long because you are mentioning information that should be in the post study plan such as the High Commission that will be opened Actually, this whole statement can be relegated to the post study plan in its entirety because your discussion is for future rather than present plans. Also, in order to meet the word requirement, immediately presenting the course and university helps a lot. A single sentence referring to your motivation for applying to the course is normally acceptable enough as it is your credentials to succeed in this course of study that is more important, which is why your related past and professional experience is being highlighted in the prompt.

For your choice 2, leave the mention of FB and the class size out of the discussion. That is the least important information that you should be mentioning here. The removal of that reference actually makes the paragraph more convincing and authoritative in presentation. It has a clear and strong focus on academic learning in relation to your profession and future plans.

Choice 3 sounds like you just threw it in there for want of a 3rd choice. There is very little information to convince the reviewer that your current profession or past academic studies have any relation to this course and that it is relevant to your current position or work title. It doesn't matter that there are a high percentage of graduates in this course. How does it relate to your professional prospects? What previous experience do you have that is relevant to this course? Why will you become a better professional because of it?

I see some potential in you with regards to your future career plans and why this course of study is relevant. You just need to develop the information a little bit more in order to strengthen the presentation and sound more convincing to the reviewer.


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