University of Nottingham, College London and Leeds. My study in UK chevening Essay

Hi, my name is Alvin and I'm planning on applying to chevening 2017 with my field of study in urban design, as explained by this essay.

do please help advising and revising my essay so that it may be considered for a chevening application.

thanks in advance!

Studying in the UK Question

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

*Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

My dream is to be an agent of change in my country in the field of sustainable building and city. Sustainable study in architectural recently took a rise in trends, as the trends of global warming keeps increasing by an alarming rate. Indonesia, being one of the most populated country in the world certainly took a part as greenhouse gases emitters. Therefore, it came to my minds that I need to take a graduate degree to help me focusing on this specific field of study. After a careful search, I came into decision to pick 3 Universities in UK as my courses option if I were to be accepted as a Chevening scholarship awardee.

University of Nottingham - Sustainable Urban Design(MArch)

This MArch program is suited for my ideal of a sustainable urbanism because they encourage the students to develop a problem-solving skill through design proposal. This course is made to made the students be environmentally aware and supportive of holistic sustainable practices while encouraging design experimentation and creativity for problem solving. What pick my interest in this study is because the course is because it specifically calls for design proposals rather than theoretical work, designed to enhance the quality of existing cities through design that responds to the cities current opportunities and challenges.

University College London - Built Environment (Environmental Design and Engineering) (MSc)

The Bartlett, well known in Architectural world as one of the top destination to study architecture is no strangers for us architect. This program aims to develop knowledge and expertise in problem solving and innovative thinking in the design and operation of buildings, placing environmental issues in a global, national, and personal context. What interest me into taking the study in UCL is because of their strong focus on built environment that has been a world class university and their commitment to always adapted to meet the needs of its intake.

University of Leeds - Sustainable Cities (MSc)

This program is by far the most interesting studies that I found while researching for my Master degree. It really resonates with what I'm looking in a sustainability study. The program teaches the key system that make up sustainable cities and focusing on honing the student's academic and practical knowledge. What really interest me in University of Leeds is their tackles on sustainability challenges. The students will learn about energy system, transport networks, housing provision, and urban ecosystems, aiming to transform a city to produce better economic, environmental, and social outcomes. Their course sees their students graduate into city government, consultancy, NGO's and beyond which is really suit what I'm looking for in my graduate program.

All those courses are really relevant to my career plan as an urban designer focused on sustainability. My architectural undergraduate background works as a base for a deeper study in the fields of urban designs. By finishing my study in one of this three universities will bring me one step closer towards realizing my dream.

(word counts :491 of 500)

Hi ~
I like how you added your personal goals to each of the 3 programs and how the programs will help you achieve your goals. My only suggestion is to maybe add a little more of why YOU want to be apart of the program instead of saying what the program does..? I'm not sure if this scholarship is hosted by the school or not, but if it is, they would already know what the program has, so adding more of why YOU want to go would make it even stronger :-)

Hi Alvin, welcome to Essay Forum. Let me see if I can help you out with your essay. the first observation I had is that you only present your future career goal in relation to your line of study in the various courses. I would suggest that you withhold on explaining the goal of your studies because that should be the basis of your post study plan. This essay should discuss individual career applications per course. You did not really explain the individual applications because you ended up describing the course curriculum instead. Next, this essay always requires at least one paragraph for an academic preparation for these courses and one professional explanation of how your work experience has best prepared you for these studies. You jumped directly into a discussion of the courses without really developing the so-called foundation paragraphs (comprised of 2 paragraphs) first. These paragraphs can be located at the beginning of the essay or divided into 2 presentations, one at the start and one at the end. Don't worry about your grammar for now, you still have the information presentation to perfect first.