My Personal statement to study MSc at Brunel University London

Hello all, Here is my personal statement with the prompt asking for:

Your reasons for choosing to study at Brunel University London
Your reasons for choosing the course
How this course will contribute towards your chosen future career plans
Any other information you wish us to consider, i.e. relevant experience concerning your intellectual, professional, social, sporting or other interests. (not exceeding 1000 words)

a women in the engineering field

Being born and raised in a third world country I do not have that much opportunity to spend most of my time with modern technological equipment. That makes me to be curious to know more about the technology while I grew up. In addition to this, becoming highly interested on the subjects of mathematics and physics leads me to the study of electrical and computer engineering with the stream of communication and electronics engineering. During the final year of my undergraduate study I had an opportunity to work my project on wireless communication area which had put a cornerstone for my current study, work and future plan. The insight I got at that time was further developed while I was selected to work as a lecturer being the top women scorer on my faculty. Teaching students of electrical and computer engineering course and studying my MSc in communication systems engineering enables me to develop my knowledge with the courses and research. As a lecturer I had an opportunity to attend seminars and conferences which made me realize as I had to study and explore the wireless communication technology further to be successful for my future plan.

The wireless communication systems program at Brunel university London I believe is perfect for me as it offers an in depth analytical study of current practice in wireless systems and provides the perfect mix of theory and practice in all aspects of modern communication systems applicable to today's ever-changing field of wireless communication. I was particularly drawn to this program because of its offering of wireless network technology, network design and management, advanced digital communications and radio and optical communication systems as a core modules given by its distinguished teaching staff of industry and research leading practitioners and faculty academics.

After the completion of the study I would like work on the project to solve the problem that the peoples around my country are facing. This project will work on using the wireless communication system to the medical application which I believe will be a good solution for a country with less professionals and material resources. The project will enable to the wireless follow up of patients far from a specialist doctor and fully equipped hospital by applying a real time wireless health monitoring system which will be successful with the knowledge I had until know and would develop it with the courses, projects and researches available at the university. As a women in engineering field I want to be part of the university's women in engineering program to be able to upgrade my knowledge and skill in order to upgrade myself and help others that are current and future women engineers. These all attributes of the university lead me to conclude Brunel University is the perfect place for me to pursue my postgraduate study in wireless communication system.

(475 words)

I would be more than happy to take any comments and suggestions.

Hiwot, you have a 10000 word maximum on this essay. You have written less than 500 words. The briefness of your statement response tells me that this is not an effective representation of the required discussion. An effective discussion would be at least 750 -800 words long, at a minimum. You have plenty of room to expand all of your discussions and also, to develop more relevant responses in the weak areas of the essay.

Let me be clear, your opening statement is irrelevant. There is no prompt question asking for the current situation of third world studies in this field. Therefore, you are wasting your time presenting that discussion. This essay should instead open with the reason that you chose to study at Brunel University. Believe it or not, you did not respond to that question. No, explaining about the situation of third world education and the lack of equipment does not respond to the question. A proper answer would indicate information based upon research of your chosen course for study and the programs the university offers. That comes in at paragraph 2, but in a minimally developed manner.

Your opening paragraph should indicate something like:

Coming from a country that has limited academic possibilities, I desired to attend higher studies overseas, at a university that has similar course requirements and objectives as my previous university. I came across Brundel university during this search and found a number of similarities between my previous academic background, my current work experience, and my career objectives....

Then a more detailed discussion should progress from there. Your discussion in this aspect will respond to prompts one and two of the aforementioned discussion listing. As for the third part about your future plans. You first have to introduce the fact that you have medical record keeping exposure that has shown you the limitations of this type of method and then you can present your future career projects and goals. You have more than enough word count to accurately respond to the essay prompts. Don't be afraid to use up the full 1000 allowance if you have to. Remember, this is your interview, so make every written statement that you make count towards your consideration for admission.