"Upon completing my postgraduate degree in the UK......" - Commonwealth Scholarship Impact Statement

impact statement for Commonwealth Shared Scholarship

Hi there. I am writing my impact statement for Commonwealth Shared Scholarship. I have written this essay below in response to the prompt (provided). Please comment on the essay and give valuable feedback/suggestion to improve it. Thank you! :)

Prompt: What you expect will change in development terms following your studies, including:
a) the outcomes that you aim to achieve? (250 words max)

b) the timeframe for their implementation?

c) who the beneficiaries will be?

"Upon completing my postgraduate degree in the UK, I anticipate having achieved an important milestone in my professional development that will enable me to play a constructive role in my organization. My research will impact wind technology development in Pakistan as the integration of the optimized blade design will allow wind turbines to capture maximum wind potential. Also, I will conduct case studies research and persuasively communicate them to attract the investment interest of energy stakeholders in wind energy. I expect to achieve these targets within a five-year timeline after graduation.

The immediate beneficiary of my research work will be the wind energy division of Pakistan. My research study will attempt to improve the energy capturing efficiency of the wind turbines, the service life of rotor blades, and increased power output. I anticipate that the optimized rotor blades, by enhancing wind technology, will play an effective role in achieving the target of boosting the renewable energy share to 30% by 2030 in Pakistan's energy mix. It will also pave the path for Pakistan to attain the UN's sustainable development goal of "Clean and Affordable Energy".

I will also impart my research techniques to the interested scholars in my organization through professional training programs. My long-term goal is to coordinate with my organization to establish a renewable energy development center where academics could acquire training courses in energy engineering, economics, policymaking, and project management. It will eventually help in tackling the objective of overcoming the energy expertise deficiency in Pakistan."

You are speaking of research you will have done as a student. The prompt actually requires a description of the actual implementation of a specific program that will be based on your newly acquired knowledge and skills from your graduate studies. While you do have an admirable outcome in mind for your research project (again, this should be a more solid and viable application within your workplace), you failed to deliver a clear timeline for your project. The timeline should have a breakdown of expected accomplishments in phases or per year basis. The beneficiaries you have indicated refer only to your country. It would be best to involve the UK and Commonwealth states in this reference as you are applying for a scholarship that has specific member countries. The more shareable your research or technology is, the better chance you will have consideration for the scholarship.