'No work until you graduate' - How do i overcome an obstacle in life; SCHOLARSHIP

This essay is for a scholarship that is due tomorrow, and this is what i got so far.
I need your help for any ideas on what to add to it.. (It has to be no more than 500 words)
ANY IDEA OR SPELLING CORRECTION WILL BE APPRECIATED. Thank you..
Here's my essay (what i got so far)

The way i'm overcoming an obstacle in life is that my parent's are not letting me work until i graduate high school. My father says ''money changes your way of thinking'' and he doesn't want me to be like that. Our Family is passing through poor economy and stress, Theres times my parent's can't afford to pay the house bills in which i don't get to have new cloth, not enough food, or materials for projects or field trips. It's depressing seeing my parents sad because they can't get a better job,That's why i'm looking forward to go to college to have a secure and well paid job. This is a good opportunity to advance my education and be able to help my parents with their incomes, at the same time, i want to support my whole family living in mexico so they don't have to struggle with low salary jobs as well. For me to be able to break this miserable cycle i need to go to college and graduate within 4 to 5 years of education. This is how i am overcoming an obstacle in my life.

Ok, what is the question? It is important for us to know that to check whether your response meets its requirements :)


....hey , you are a very lucky person :D
After reading your essay, I feel you should have first described the financial constraints your family is currently facing. Then tell , even if that is the situation, your parents still against the idea of employing you thinking that money will change your focus in life. Then say that you do understand their love and concern for your future, but you cannot keep them carrying the burden any more. So you apply for this scholarship. I feel it gives a better flow for your response. Anyway, without seeing the prompt, it is difficult to advice :)

Sorry for not writing the question, the question is ''Describe how you have overcome or are overcoming an obstacle in your life.

Check punctuation marks.
You can also add more details to the text like: The actittude you will take to overcome this obstacle and describe them.

Ok.... it's good, now that we know the prompt :D


Don't repeat the question, it's boring :( .... tell your problem straight -

Through out my life I had cope with many hardships caused by my family's poor financial status. Be it feeding us or paying the house rent, my parents were put on so much stress in making ends meet . It is very sad and depressing for me to keep watching my parents' endless struggles without offering them any help. I am determined to save my family from this misery and the only way out for me is to go to college and earn a degree that opens the door for me to get a secured and well paid job.