Yes, cut it to fit the parameters in the instructions. The easiest way to tighten things is using active instead of passive voice. The overall tone of your essay is good, and it is earnest, but little errors with agreement and parallelism disrupt the flow. This is not a complete fix, but here a few example to get you started:
involvements in extra-curriculum activities
involvement in extra-curricular activities
I am on the Principal's Honors Roll, a member of the National Honors Society, a tutor, and many more academic and spiritual clubs.
This is where parallel structure comes into play. It is like saying, "I like to eat oranges, sleep, and riding my bike," when saying, "I like to eat oranges, to sleep, and to ride my bike" would be better. When your sentence starts with, "I am on," the reader expects a list of things you are on unless you clue the reader with words. Try: I am on the Principal's Honor Roll and a member of the National Honor (omit the "s") Society. I tutor younger (or fellow--whatever is appropriate) students, and ... (follow up with something more about this experience). The sound of "many more academic and spiritual clubs" is throwing me off. It doesn't have much meaning on its own because there is no description of what those memberships entail. Sometimes showing a greater commitment in one area is stronger than showing a minimal involvement in many ... depth over breadth.
and the commitment to public service of healthcare practitioners.
and healthcare practitioners' commitment to public service
Receiving the X scholarship will be a significant contributor that lifts off the financial burden and helps me to accomplish my goals
Here's an example of how you could rewrite this sentence:
Receiving the X scholarship would significantly alleviate the financial burden and help me to accomplish my goals.