Short write-up on internship application Qn

Hey, first timer here. I am applying to a few Pre-u intern and find out that many firms ask "why you want to apply to this....". So I would like to make a template for my own reference. Pls help in grammar/content. Thanks!--YangF.

This is a short write up(1500 characters.)

John Kenneth Galbraith, an eminent US economist, once suggested in his book "The New Industrial State" that identification is a stronger motivation than pecuniary compensation in attracting individuals to an organisation. Similarly I apply to MAS internship not because of financial benefit, but the identification with the goals of MAS.

Being accepted to read economics in U Cam this coming September, I am keen to look for internships that are related to economics policies-making, as I want to apply what I have learned to real life problems . This would be possible in MAS where monetary policies are used to intervene and fight inflation, and contribute to growth and development of the financial sector and the Singapore economy. These will have great impact to our society. Identifying myself strongly with the prestigious visions of MAS, I am keen to participate in this Internship. It will be a very exciting experience as I may face challenging economics problems and learn how to shape the economics landscape with monetary policies. It will be enriching for me to work and learn from other talented people from the field as well. With great enthusiasm in economics policy-planning, I may pursue a career in this industry. I recognise that MAS may just be the ideal place for my first internship, and it would be a great opportunity to find out more about this inspiring organisation.

You seem to be on the right track. I don't know if this will work as a template, exactly; you should probably tailor your application essays to each internship, as you seem to have tailored this one to MAS. Some grammatical fixes:

"Similarly I am applyingfor an MAS internship not for its financial benefits,but because of my identification with the goals of MAS.

"This would be possible in MAS where monetary policies are used to intervene and fight inflation, and to contribute to the growth and development of the financial sector and the Singapore economy."

"These will have great impact on our society."

Thanks!!

The title of a book should be in italics, not in quotes:

The New Industrial State

Quotes are for other things, like song titles or article titles.

Now, are you sure that you are interpreting the quote correctly? Does he mean "identification" with some sort of ideals of the organization? If so, cool. I don't know if you got it right, because I don't know the book. But make sure!

Hey, great answer. You did a good job of presenting your seriousness and enthusiasm.

Having read Kevin's comment, I realize that your opening sentence could in fact be quite confusing, because it raises the question of "identification with what?" You could get around this by adding a few words to the sentence just after the word "identification" in which you answer that question.

Thanks guys, I also feel that "Identification" need some elaboration. Perhaps I was not careful in plugging the word out from the book, (author has spent pages in discussing identification in that book, while i just assume others have the same knowledge...).

I should change it to
...once suggested in his book The New Industrial State that individuals' identification with the ambitions of their company is a stronger motivation than pecuniary compensation in attracting individuals to an organisation.

thanks again

Excellent. That solves the problem quite nicely.