Write a reference letter for yourself in the third person describing yourself. Scholarship essay

Such a weird question, but the full question is:

Write a letter of reference for yourself in the third person describing how the applicant (you) meets these criteria. The letter should refer to the specific achievements and experiences. It may also comment on any weaknesses. (300 words max)

My answer is:

he tries his best

Looking at the scholarship's criteria, I believe Saifuddeen excels at all of them. Academically, he ranks at the top of the list. He is the only student in his year group with straight A*'s in his IGCSEs and one of only two students with 4 A's predicted for his A-levels, and we know that is way below his target. Outside the classroom, Saifuddeen is a beast in our basketball team. He was awarded the most improved player last year, and he truly was.

Alongside being academically and athletically exceptional, we strongly accept Saifuddeen as a leader in our school. As the head mentor of 2017/18, he not only mentors weak students academically and personally but also leads the mentoring team of 23 mentors. Lately, he wrote a status report from his own will where he summarised the progress and requested a meeting to solve the communication barriers. Not to mention that he was a prefect in year 11 and is currently a senior prefect, where he helps organise events, represents our school, and is simply a role model.

Saifuddeen always seeks to help others, and I am confident in his desire to make the world a better place. Recently, we trusted him to solely run a full revision session with his peers where he shared his advice and exam tips. He also does graphics enrichment, where he helps the teacher and shares his years of graphics experience with the younger students.

We are so proud to have a student who tries his best to make his school shine and rise. Saifuddeen represented our school in a huge worldwide science competition: The Breakthrough Junior Challenge. Being in the top 5% of over 3000 competitors, Saifuddeen suggested and is currently running an ECA club where he prepares our students to be the future winners.

I am exactly at the 300 limit, so I cant add anything else, and I have got more to add. The english is weak and sounds a bit wierd, but that's also due to the word limit. I would like some help with regards to the content and the language. Is that what the admissions officer wants to read? Is that strong enough for a very competitive scholarship?

Thanks for you time and feedback.

"He is the only student in his year ..."

Maybe try making this into two sentences?

"Saifuddeen is a beast in our basketball team. He was awarded the most improved player last year, and he truly was."

I would suggest saying something like "certainly deserved the exceptional award" or something along those lines.

Not sure if the word "beast" is appropriate in a scholarship essay

I feel like you're on the right track, but as you said, you probably need better word choice.

Saifuddeen, I would not try to explain too much in this essay. If I were the one writing this essay for you, I would have chosen only 2 of my strongest traits, one personal and one academic, then on negative trait, such as your being an improved basketball player, which means that you were not always a good player. Another negative would be a subject that I need help in particular with during one academic year or something. I know you have 300 words to write this essay so let me see if I can pick out the 3 topics that you can best write about, which would be of interest to the reviewer. Each topic should be fully developed in 100 words so that you can meet the maximum word requirement and be sure to deliver a highly informative reference letter in third person. Here are the topics I have chosen, which you can change if you wish to:

1. Class ranking
2. Leadership as a mentor and prefect
3. Basketball - how bad you were and how you improved your game

These should be enough to interest the reviewer and also offer acceptable / important information that he might consider with your application.

Thanks for your comment,

That plan seems perfect to me. Will sure write it from scratch with these points in mind, and use your suggestions and see how it works.

Thanks a lot for your comments and feedback, they are always spot on!