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A short speech about burn the midnight

jennie1212 1 / -  
Oct 13, 2017   #1

staying up late at night

Good afternoon , I'm Jennie from china. Recently, a blogger of china was in a come because of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage. The reason is she often stayed up late working and lack of sleep. As a college student, we also stayed up late studying or playing. Long-term stay up late great harm to the body. So today I'm talking about how to achieve sleep balance. The presentation will last three minutes. Firstly you need a plan for a day. You should know exactly what's your need to do and how to do. Be a planner you can early done your homework and more free time to rest. Planning in crease efficiency, you focus your energy on what you're doing. As thus you can finish your homework early on, and have more enough bedtime. Secondly don't eat many coffee or tea a day. You could eat a little cup in the daytime. Avoid drinking coffee in the evening. coffee and tea will make you excited. You are likely to be difficult sleep. If you want to experience insomnia, you can try it. I suggest you can try drinking a glass of hot milk before you go to bed. Lastly relieve stress. Exercise is always a good way to relieve stress. Care out 20 minutes each day to commune with nature. and before you go to sleep, breathing exercise can help you reduce stress and relax. And dim the lights, the relaxing sleep atmosphere is helpful for sleeping and improve your sleeping quality. Finally, to summarize the key points. Long-term stay up late great harm to the healthy, or event a threat our lives. So do not ignore the facts any longer. Only with a good night sleep do we have the strength to face the next day. So for a better tomorrow, you'd better have some sleep. Thank you for listening. Have a good night sleep.
irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Oct 13, 2017   #2
I'm really confused since essayforum is designed for editing and advising the writing. However, you typed the speech which might be solely for in the class.

It is OK if you want to give several suggestions regarding the healthy life.
In this case, did you try to type what you listen ? to fortify your listening, may be you can listen the BBC News.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Oct 13, 2017   #3
Jennie, there are number of serious grammar errors in your essay. For example, you said "come" when the actual term is "coma" meaning a person fell into a deep state of sleep due to a serious injury to the brain. That is the most serious problem that I spotted in relation to your grammar usage. I suggest that you go to the writing center of your university, bring this speech with you and have them double check the grammar with you. That way you will learn about your writing problems and how to correct them. You must also remember to always capitalize the name of proper nouns such as "China". This speech is not 3 minutes long. You need to develop additional talking points in separate paragraph presentations in order to meet the time requirement. As a speech draft, you have a pretty well developed outline. What you need to do now is do further research in order to make your statements more convincing. You don't need to quote sources since this seems to be a freestyle speech. However, you will still need to make reference to valid information because you are trying to educate your listener.
Bobovikisan 3 / 4 1  
Oct 31, 2017   #4
Great job getting the main idea across but as Holt said you had some serious grammar errors. Perhaps you should structure your speech like it is a persuasive essay, so it can go longer, because that speech doesn't look like it goes for 3 minutes. For example, I'm assuming your are trying to persuade people to pay attention to their sleep patterns, you have to have an introduction explaining your three main points, three body paragraphs and a conclusion. Not only will your speech go longer but you will be able to expand more on your ideas. Also using firstly, secondly and lastly gets repetitive and by simply changing those words will stop your audience from falling asleep.

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