China, a Global View (from the perspective of Chinese e-commerce)

Ladies and gentlemen!I'm Kelly.It's my great pleasure to have this opportunity to deliver my speech.
When I have leisure,I often watch some interesting videos on a domestic website,similar to YouTube,where people can upload short videos made by themselves whenever.I've found an interesting phenomenon that more and more foreigners updated videos regularly.Although they come from different countries,they're almost talking about their experiences in China,differences between their own nations and China,and their views about China.

I remember a German said that the coolest thing he had bought from Taobao is the magic wands.In Germany,he've collected many Harry Potter wands.But when he came to China,he forgot to take them.He was so surprised to find them again from Taobao. Actually,you can buy almost anything from Taobao that you can possibly imagine.

Taobao,part of Alibaba,was established in 2003.An English uploader said that he came to China in 2007.At that time,people used Internet,but few knew online shopping.Now,the number of Chinese online shoppers has surpassed 400 million.Last year,the online shopping volume in China accounted for nearly 40% of the total global online retail transactions.Taobao has been the largest ecommerce company in the world.

Alipay ,which is another service of Alibaba,is a gigantic E-payment service.The New York Times published a lengthy report in July called 'in urban china,cash is rapidly becoming obsolete'.It wrote that there is an audacious economic phenomenon happening in china.You can pay for goods online whether in a department store or a roadside stall.China absolutely leads the world in online payments.

As disposable income has been growing in China,the chinese society is now a consumer society which has fueled the growth of Internet a lot,particularly ecommerce.China is implementing 'go global' strategy.The initiation of The Belt and Road,Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank,etc. improves China's international reputation and status.As China is becoming stronger and stronger,more and more foreigners would change their original view about China and begin to take an interest in China.

That's all.Thank you.

Kelly, your essay is informative but lacks focus. What is it exactly that you want to talk about? Is it the videos uploaded about China? Wands for sale in China? Alibaba? Alipay? There are too many topics being introduced for the listener to be able to follow the verbal discussion that you are presenting. You seem to have forgotten that a speech is nothing more than a verbal reading of the essay that you wrote. That said, the speech that you wrote needs to follow the dictates of a general essay. That means, you need to have one topic to discuss, one topic to defend or inform about, and one topic to conclude on. Your current essay tries to discuss so many topics without really focusing on a connecting piece of information or a common discussion point. In order to make this speech more effective, you will need to either whittle down the presentations you have made or write a new one that has a better focus on a singular topic that connects all 3 companies. I would be confused while listening to you because you do not really follow through on any of the topics being introduced. It is not enough to introduce topics in a speech, you need to fully discuss and develop your presentations as well. Like I said, the speech is a verbal essay. So adjust your mistakes, such as the lack of spacing between sentences, starting sentence with the word "but", and creating so many run on sentences that the speech becomes hard to keep track of. Fixing those will be a good start and will allow you to review the content of your essay for changes that should be made in order to create a better focused speech.

@Holt
It's the first time that I've posted my essay here.Thank you for your advice!I'll pay attention to those mistakes and keep learning how to write a good essay.Thank you so much!