Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809 in Kentucky. He was elected 16th president of the United States in 1861. At that time, the country was having problems regarding the practice of slavery. The people of northern states were against this practice, but the southern states wanted to keep it. This made the country going to split up.
After that, a civil war broke out between the northern and southern states. In order to keep the country in unity, he fought the war bravely and won the war. Finally, the practice of slavery was abolished. Because of this, he was one of the greatest presidents of the United States.
Although Abraham Lincoln was very smart, he still made several mistakes. For example, he underestimated his opponents and resulted an assassin was able to sneak into a box and shoot him. Lincoln was assassinated in 1865.
In my opinion, Abraham Lincoln was very persistent. He attended school for less than a year. He taught himself to read and write. Initially, he worked on the farm of his father. He did different types of jobs before he settled as a highly successful lawyer and then a great president. After reading his story, I learnt what it means to never give up.
This made the country going to split up.
he underestimated his opponents resultingand resultedin an assassin wasbeing able to sneak into a box and shoot him. Lincoln was assassinated in 1865.
I'll help you correct your grammar first. Then I will direct your attention to a more serious problem regarding the facts in your essay within my comments section located after the paragraph itself. Here are my corrections and notes :-)
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Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809 in Kentucky. He was elected THE 16th president of the United States in 1861. At that time, the country was having problems regarding the practice of slavery. The people of northern states were against this practice, but the southern states wanted to keep it. This made the country going to split up. THE ISSUE DIVIDED THE COUNTRY.
COMMENT: IN ORDER TO MAKE THIS DISCUSSION ABOUT SLAVERY VALID, YOU SHOULD MENTION THE STAND OF LINCOLN, WHICH BEGAN THE WAR.
After that, a A civil war broke out between the northern and southern states. In order to keep the country in unity UNITED, he fought LED the war bravely and won the war . Finally, the practice of slavery was abolished. Because of this, he was MAKING LINCOLN one of the greatest presidents of the United States.
Although Abraham Lincoln was very smart, he still made several mistakes. For example, he underestimated his opponents and resulted an assassin was able to sneak into a box and shoot him. Lincoln was assassinated in 1865.
COMMENT: USE A POLITICAL EXAMPLE OF THE MISTAKES HE MADE DURING HIS PRESIDENCY THAT RESULTED IN A LENGTHY CIVIL WAR. THE ASSASSINATION IS NOT AN ACCURATE EXAMPLE OF HIS MISTAKES BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE A PERSONAL CONNECTION WITH THE ASSASSIN.
In my opinion, Abraham Lincoln was very persistent. He attended school for less than a year. He taught himself to read and write. Initially, he worked on the farm of his father. He did different types of jobs before he settled BECAME as a highly successful lawyer and then a great president. After reading his story, I learnt ED what it means to never give up.
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Your essay seems to be lacking in facts and focus. Are you supposed to talk about his presidency, his assassination, the civil war he led or what? I would like to know what focus the essay should have so that we can lengthen the essay and make it more informative when you deliver it.
HI, while it is imperative that you include the prompt of your essay when posting here on EF, it is also important that you gather facts and create an idea and focus in your essay. Now, from what I have here, let me try to help you out.
- Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809 in Kentucky,USA .
- He was elected as the 16th president of the United States in 1861.
- At that time, the country was having problemsfacing issues regarding the practice of slavery.
- This madeleft the country going to split upin great turmoil .
- After that,Shortly after, thea civil war broke
- Because ofHaving accomplished this, he was one of the greatest presidents of the United States.
- For example,H e underestimated his opponents and
- resulted an assassin was able to sneak into a box and shoot himto his assassination .
( this last paragraph doesn't make sense to me at all, I don't know now where your essay is leading to, if you can shed a light at this point of the essay, please post it here on EF so we can assist you further )
- In my opinion, Abraham Lincoln was very persistent. He attended school for less than a year. He taught himself to read and write. Initially, he worked on the farm of his father. He did different types of jobs before he settled as a highly successful lawyer and then a great president. After reading his story, I learnt what it means to never give up.
