I will be submitting this essay to American University, New York University, and Stanford University on Commonapp.com so I want to make sure it's well-written!
Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
Jacob Acaye was eleven years old when he was abducted during the night from his home in northern Uganda to serve as a child soldier. Jacob is just one of the thousands of enslaved children that make up 90% of the rebel group, led by Joseph Kony, called the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). Since the 1980's, these people have been waging war against the Ugandan government in an effort to gain revenge for the Acholi people who feel as though they have suffered discrimination since the British colonized Africa in the 1800's, and believe that God has instructed them to gain revenge by overthrowing the Ugandan government. Unfortunately, in their attempts to acquire justice for themselves, they have caught upwards of 100,000 innocent Africans in the mess.
The LRA works brutally and stealthily, wreaking havoc on African communities in Uganda, Sudan, Central African Republic, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and displacing many terrorized citizens who have nowhere to go but crowded and dirty refugee camps. At night, they strike again, forcing many children to "night commute", or travel away from their homes to safe places after dark in an effort to be absent when the LRA arrives to collect them. Those who stay behind, like Jacob, are frequently snatched by the LRA. Those who try to stop the LRA, like Jacob's brother, are killed. Prisoners of the LRA, no matter what race, age, or gender, are subject to rape, being bound up, beatings, mutilations such as having body parts cut off, and death. The children enlisted as soldiers are forced to beat, mutilate, and kill other victims, sometimes even their family members, or face their own horrible deaths. If anyone tries to escape the LRA, they are murdered.
A charity named Invisible Children is working to stop the misdoings toward these helpless adolescents who are dubbed "invisible" due to the fact that they are a dilemma often overlooked by outsiders and even the LRA, their own army, who claims that they don't exist. I have supported Invisible Children on different accounts through donating money and raising awareness in my community. Last year, I participated in an event called the Rescue by "abducting" myself and spending the night in a park away from home with other volunteers until a state congresswoman arrived to pledge her support of a quick and peaceful end to this war. In the future, I plan to work as an intern "roadie", traveling around the country and hosting screenings to involve our youth with the program.
This cause is so important to me because these youth in Africa are part of our world's future leaders and especially in a fragile and developing continent like theirs, they cannot afford to waste so much time trying to stay alive and out of the hands of the rebels, when they should be receiving a beneficial education to help them grow into future problem solvers. I believe that with all the resources and opportunities I have been given and our minors are offered here in America, it is our duty as the prosperous to give back and share our power with the misfortunate around the world.
It seems short because I originally wrote it for another application that allowed a maximum of 500 words... should I make it longer? Anything I need to change? Please critique with honesty! Thankyou!
Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
Jacob Acaye was eleven years old when he was abducted during the night from his home in northern Uganda to serve as a child soldier. Jacob is just one of the thousands of enslaved children that make up 90% of the rebel group, led by Joseph Kony, called the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). Since the 1980's, these people have been waging war against the Ugandan government in an effort to gain revenge for the Acholi people who feel as though they have suffered discrimination since the British colonized Africa in the 1800's, and believe that God has instructed them to gain revenge by overthrowing the Ugandan government. Unfortunately, in their attempts to acquire justice for themselves, they have caught upwards of 100,000 innocent Africans in the mess.
The LRA works brutally and stealthily, wreaking havoc on African communities in Uganda, Sudan, Central African Republic, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and displacing many terrorized citizens who have nowhere to go but crowded and dirty refugee camps. At night, they strike again, forcing many children to "night commute", or travel away from their homes to safe places after dark in an effort to be absent when the LRA arrives to collect them. Those who stay behind, like Jacob, are frequently snatched by the LRA. Those who try to stop the LRA, like Jacob's brother, are killed. Prisoners of the LRA, no matter what race, age, or gender, are subject to rape, being bound up, beatings, mutilations such as having body parts cut off, and death. The children enlisted as soldiers are forced to beat, mutilate, and kill other victims, sometimes even their family members, or face their own horrible deaths. If anyone tries to escape the LRA, they are murdered.
A charity named Invisible Children is working to stop the misdoings toward these helpless adolescents who are dubbed "invisible" due to the fact that they are a dilemma often overlooked by outsiders and even the LRA, their own army, who claims that they don't exist. I have supported Invisible Children on different accounts through donating money and raising awareness in my community. Last year, I participated in an event called the Rescue by "abducting" myself and spending the night in a park away from home with other volunteers until a state congresswoman arrived to pledge her support of a quick and peaceful end to this war. In the future, I plan to work as an intern "roadie", traveling around the country and hosting screenings to involve our youth with the program.
This cause is so important to me because these youth in Africa are part of our world's future leaders and especially in a fragile and developing continent like theirs, they cannot afford to waste so much time trying to stay alive and out of the hands of the rebels, when they should be receiving a beneficial education to help them grow into future problem solvers. I believe that with all the resources and opportunities I have been given and our minors are offered here in America, it is our duty as the prosperous to give back and share our power with the misfortunate around the world.
It seems short because I originally wrote it for another application that allowed a maximum of 500 words... should I make it longer? Anything I need to change? Please critique with honesty! Thankyou!
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