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Academic success is very important in the world today.; PERSONAL STATEMENT



lilkiddykid 1 / 5  
Jan 30, 2013   #1
Academic success is very important in the world today. However, not everyone who goes to school performs well academically. Personally, I am a bit weak in my academics but I have my personal skills that make me valuable to my society. Part of my poor performance was because my earlier days in school were terrible. Bullying made me hate school. The senior students insulted and pushed me around. This affected my self-esteem so much that I could not concentrate at school.

Nonetheless, over the years, my perspective has changed and I would like to join an institution of higher learning. I am actively involved in mentorship and leadership activities. Thanks to my experience, I mentor young people to stand out against the injustices they go through such as sexual abuse and bullying. This helps the students to be confident and take up leadership roles.

I am also involved in volunteering programs. Giving back can be in terms of services, time and money. This way, I am able to give other people a chance to enjoy the opportunities that I never had. It promotes team building and unity. I am a mature person who is enthusiastic about the community and leadership.

I am an honest and hardworking person, who is determined to improve the quality of life of the people around me. I discourage students from giving up on education because of the experiences they had. When one goes to school, it will not only benefit them but the entire community.

I don't have the confidence to submit my personal statement because I think it's lacking substance and flavor. I feel as if I'm just providing a list of accomplishments, and not focusing on making myself stand out in a way that would make me different and unique. I would love any tips or advice that i can do to apply to this essay to make it more appealing and unique in a way that would make me different and special.

daivinhtran1993 3 / 10  
Jan 30, 2013   #2
Your essay is great. However, I think you should describe more about your focused subject (as Language Art, Math, SS, or Science) and what you want to do in future. Be specific when you talk about your volunteering programs. What do you there?
tomcruisin444 2 / 19  
Feb 24, 2013   #3
follow davids comments, and you should be fine. Also I think you need to polish your grammer--run on senteces, and punctuation. Some sentences are also redunant as well.
tomcruisin444 2 / 19  
Feb 27, 2013   #4
Please take a look at my essay. Good luck with your submission
tomcruisin444 2 / 19  
Mar 4, 2013   #5
If yu have your new draft I will be happy to look at it


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