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'Academically and Athletically' Trinity College essay help

KTarsa 1 / -  
Dec 25, 2008   #1
For the Trinity supplement I was asked to respond to the following prompt:
"Trinity's Integrity Contract articulates our expectations of honesty, personal responsibility, active consideration of others, and respect for our community. What personal "integrity contract" do you employ in your own life?" (recommended length--1 pg.)

I would love some feedback. I'm somewhat stuck in terms of writing a 'conclusion'...does it need one? Thanks!

I, as a prominent member of my school's community, an enthusiastic sportsman, and most importantly, a conscientious global citizen, hold all of my actions to an unwavering code of honesty and respect. My 'integrity contract,' constructed upon the pillars of honesty and respect, encourages the cultivation of self-fulfillment through personal achievement and active support of others. Its influence, though evident in all areas of my life, is most clearly manifested in my behavior in the classroom and on the playing field.

Academically, my commitment to honesty and respect is reflected by my ascetic adherence to my school's honor code. At the beginning of the past four school years, I have joined my fellow students in signing the following pledge: "I have neither given nor received improper aid in the preparation of this assignment. Unless properly attributed to others, it represents exclusively my own work." I reaffirm my adherence to this policy by writing "pledge observed" followed by my signature on every piece of work that I complete. My devotion to the fulfillment of this endeavor, however, extends beyond the signing of my papers, which, for many students, is merely superficial. I wholeheartedly believe the most crucial component of education is the independent process of discovery and self-actualization, and never turn down an opportunity to emphasize this to myself or to a peer.

Athletically, I also act in rigorous accordance to the aforementioned scruples. Two of my favorite sports, golf and cross-country, give the participant an immense amount of autonomy: they have no referees, are played on extremely large plots of land, and judge success on the sole basis of individual efforts. Consequently, both sports provide players with an array of opportunities to cheat, be it cutting corners, moving one's ball, or writing down an incorrect score. I, nevertheless, pledge to abide strictly by the rules of each game, no matter the circumstance. One of life's greatest joys is seeing oneself improve at something. Yet when one fails to respect the rules of a game or is dishonest with oneself about a day's performance, the concept of progress becomes lost in a whirl of self-deception.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 26, 2008   #2
I would make the last two sentences into their own paragraph, that would wrap up your ending nicely!

Good essay!


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