Hey guys! I'm applying this year to Georgetown for fall 2014. I would appreciate if you could make comments on my essay and also criticize it. Thank you very much!!
(English is not my first language: I'm sorry for the gramar)
APPLICANTS TO GEORGETOWN COLLEGE: Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study? (If you are applying to major in the FLL or in a Science, please specifically address those interests.)
We were reaching the town El Cocuy in Colombia. I and my family wanted to go back to the town where my grandmother was born and we wanted to visit some members of our family that were not very close to us.
El Cocuy is beautiful town located the hearth of the Andes Mountains in Boyacá, Colombia. It is surrounded by the Guican National Natural Park. The air is pure and there are animals everywhere. People in this place are humble and as good Colombians: very kind. Nevertheless, it is a town which has been harassed for a long time by the conflict in Colombia with the guerrilla groups, the paramilitary groups and the Colombian army. People in El Cocuy haven't seen peace for about 50 years. Many of the families have been mutilated by the war, many of their members have died fighting for one of the groups.
The reality in the city was very different from the reality in the rest of Colombia. Until then I was a child who lived in a big city: Bogotá. I hadn't noticed what was going on in my country. For the first time when I was 15 years old I got to see the consequences of a terrible war which had caused big injustices in the Colombian society. Many questions came to my mind: Why did this war exists? Why did these people had to suffer because of it? What was behind that conflict?
I looked for answers. And I got to a conclusion. The country I live in has many injustices and there are people out there that need help. I thought to myself that it wasn't fair that I had much more opportunities that the average Colombian teenager and I realized that a very good way to change this situation is by doing politics. Since then I've been educating myself in this field by participating in different projects, programs and activities to become a political leader in my community.
Now I want to go to college and learn Economics because this will give me the tools I need to make this change in my country. I understand that there is something bigger than me, my community for example, and I helping this community fulfills me and inspires. My dream is that one day every Colombian child will have access to the same opportunities and to the same education. I dream of the citizen of Colombia living in peace and enjoying the richness and the beautiful nature of the country. I want to make this change in the field of politics.
I want to enter Georgetown because I think that the university is going to give me in a better ways than other universities the education I need to accomplish my dream. I want my education also to be well rounded as it is in Georgetown and I want also to be surrounded by proactive people, people that are not afraid of dreaming big as I do. In my opinion, people should not act indifferently when they see a problem. Georgetown educates its students of being the leaders of the future and I want to belong to that particular group.
(English is not my first language: I'm sorry for the gramar)
APPLICANTS TO GEORGETOWN COLLEGE: Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study? (If you are applying to major in the FLL or in a Science, please specifically address those interests.)
We were reaching the town El Cocuy in Colombia. I and my family wanted to go back to the town where my grandmother was born and we wanted to visit some members of our family that were not very close to us.
El Cocuy is beautiful town located the hearth of the Andes Mountains in Boyacá, Colombia. It is surrounded by the Guican National Natural Park. The air is pure and there are animals everywhere. People in this place are humble and as good Colombians: very kind. Nevertheless, it is a town which has been harassed for a long time by the conflict in Colombia with the guerrilla groups, the paramilitary groups and the Colombian army. People in El Cocuy haven't seen peace for about 50 years. Many of the families have been mutilated by the war, many of their members have died fighting for one of the groups.
The reality in the city was very different from the reality in the rest of Colombia. Until then I was a child who lived in a big city: Bogotá. I hadn't noticed what was going on in my country. For the first time when I was 15 years old I got to see the consequences of a terrible war which had caused big injustices in the Colombian society. Many questions came to my mind: Why did this war exists? Why did these people had to suffer because of it? What was behind that conflict?
I looked for answers. And I got to a conclusion. The country I live in has many injustices and there are people out there that need help. I thought to myself that it wasn't fair that I had much more opportunities that the average Colombian teenager and I realized that a very good way to change this situation is by doing politics. Since then I've been educating myself in this field by participating in different projects, programs and activities to become a political leader in my community.
Now I want to go to college and learn Economics because this will give me the tools I need to make this change in my country. I understand that there is something bigger than me, my community for example, and I helping this community fulfills me and inspires. My dream is that one day every Colombian child will have access to the same opportunities and to the same education. I dream of the citizen of Colombia living in peace and enjoying the richness and the beautiful nature of the country. I want to make this change in the field of politics.
I want to enter Georgetown because I think that the university is going to give me in a better ways than other universities the education I need to accomplish my dream. I want my education also to be well rounded as it is in Georgetown and I want also to be surrounded by proactive people, people that are not afraid of dreaming big as I do. In my opinion, people should not act indifferently when they see a problem. Georgetown educates its students of being the leaders of the future and I want to belong to that particular group.
