Hi guys, I need help with my personal statement for UC. I'm not an English native speaker, so there might be a lot of error in my writing. Please give me some feedback on my grammar and context. Any help is appreciated! Thanks.
Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"We can say that accounting is the study of the past, marketing is the study of the present, and finance is the study of the future. Without those 3 elements, business cannot be formed." This is what my account professor said on the first day of the semester. Her words inspired me of how amazing a business administration is and made me realize that I have made the right choice in choosing business as my intended major.
The first time I was introduced to the world of business dates back in my early age when I spent times with my grandfather after school. Ever since I was in an elementary school, every day I would be waiting for my father to pick me up at an old small tenement house from 1960s locating in an old town in Bangkok. That building was used as my grandfather's work place. I thought we were rich because I helped him work with piles of document and see how many inventories he sold each month. "But where does all the money go?," I always wondered.
Even though he worked passionately and diligently, unfortunately, his hard work did not pay him back. His business was always in bad shape. Sometimes, if he was lucky enough, he gained little profits from his business, but most of the times, His business was in a "no-profit-no-loss" situation. I kept coming up with questions like why was his business not doing well?, why did he not increase the selling price in order to earn more money?, or what did he have to do to be able to sell more products?. Later on, I found out from my mother the reason behind his unsuccessful business was that he did not know how to manage his fund because of the lack of basic knowledge about business, and neither did my family. As I saw my grandfather and our family went through the obstacles in business, I set my mind that I will study hard and will not let them struggle anymore. Therefore, I choose to pursue a degree in Business.
That experience made me realize that fund management is one of the most critical things in business. How the money should be used, saved, or invested are important decisions to be made in our everyday lives as business is rooted in every field of jobs. If it's well managed, your business can be successful. Looking at the business in Thailand, many Thai businesses have failed, especially in a small business market, although some might have substantial sums in their fund.
Who knew that spending times after school with my grandfather would truly influence me on my professional goal. I aim to be a financial analyst helping small businesses like my grandfather's in Thailand to manage their investment in the most beneficial ways, make well financial decisions, and meet their financial goals by applying my knowledge to develop innovative risk and fund management. I strongly believe that the times in University of California will help me preparing myself both academically and mentally for my future.
Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"We can say that accounting is the study of the past, marketing is the study of the present, and finance is the study of the future. Without those 3 elements, business cannot be formed." This is what my account professor said on the first day of the semester. Her words inspired me of how amazing a business administration is and made me realize that I have made the right choice in choosing business as my intended major.
The first time I was introduced to the world of business dates back in my early age when I spent times with my grandfather after school. Ever since I was in an elementary school, every day I would be waiting for my father to pick me up at an old small tenement house from 1960s locating in an old town in Bangkok. That building was used as my grandfather's work place. I thought we were rich because I helped him work with piles of document and see how many inventories he sold each month. "But where does all the money go?," I always wondered.
Even though he worked passionately and diligently, unfortunately, his hard work did not pay him back. His business was always in bad shape. Sometimes, if he was lucky enough, he gained little profits from his business, but most of the times, His business was in a "no-profit-no-loss" situation. I kept coming up with questions like why was his business not doing well?, why did he not increase the selling price in order to earn more money?, or what did he have to do to be able to sell more products?. Later on, I found out from my mother the reason behind his unsuccessful business was that he did not know how to manage his fund because of the lack of basic knowledge about business, and neither did my family. As I saw my grandfather and our family went through the obstacles in business, I set my mind that I will study hard and will not let them struggle anymore. Therefore, I choose to pursue a degree in Business.
That experience made me realize that fund management is one of the most critical things in business. How the money should be used, saved, or invested are important decisions to be made in our everyday lives as business is rooted in every field of jobs. If it's well managed, your business can be successful. Looking at the business in Thailand, many Thai businesses have failed, especially in a small business market, although some might have substantial sums in their fund.
Who knew that spending times after school with my grandfather would truly influence me on my professional goal. I aim to be a financial analyst helping small businesses like my grandfather's in Thailand to manage their investment in the most beneficial ways, make well financial decisions, and meet their financial goals by applying my knowledge to develop innovative risk and fund management. I strongly believe that the times in University of California will help me preparing myself both academically and mentally for my future.
