the activites you mentioned - Short Answer Common App

Elaborate on one of the activites you mentioned.

Finding something to be passionate about is the greatest gift life can offer. A life without passion is a life without love, meaning, or purpose. My passion lies on the dance floor. Stress melts away, happiness radiates through me as I pirouette around and around, sadness falls like sweat as a sense of relief and rejuvenation consumes me. Dance is an outlet for my emotions, physical discipline for my body, and a means through which I can channel my creative energy. There is so much emphasis placed on kids getting involved in sports that people overlook the importance of the performing arts. Dance is something I can easily make a lifetime commitment to, while most sports are limited in their ability to have any long-term importance.

There is so much emphasis placed on kids getting involved in sports that people overlook the importance of the performing arts. Dance is something I can easily make a lifetime commitment to, while most sports are limited in their ability to have any long-term importance.

I kind of have a problem with this phrase. There are ways to stress how important your own passions are without attacking those of others. It honestly only makes you look bad.

Finding something to be passionate about is the greatest gift life can offer.

I would avoid making huge, generalized statements like this. The passage is supposed to be about you and dancing, not about the fact that you believe that one's "passion" is the greatest thing in the world to everyone. Many will disagree and will thus be put off by your essay from the start.

Lastly, I would heed EF_team's advice about your convoluted fourth sentence.