Additional information: professional and sports experience

Hi Kevin, I tried to create a new thread for my 3rd and last essay for ISB, but I am unable to create a new thread. Could you please help me to put the below essay on a new thread.

Please provide additional information, that will significantly affect the consideration of your application to the ISB. (300 words max)

Getting into IIT in India is quite challenging and I am trying to convey that I have been active in sports and still was able to make it to IIT, and also succeeded in personal investment.

To ISB, I will bring a results oriented person with a dynamic personality and with full of energy for life. I have always strived for equal importance to different aspects of my life regardless of whether it is academic, professional, sports, or personal family life and excelled in each field through disciplined time management practices.

I have managed to climb the corporate ladder, pursue my extra curricular activities, and keep the equilibrium maintained of the family life. In spite of my hectic travel schedule, I managed to build my own club and won Michigan T-20 Cricket Leagues without hindering the family life balance. Team-work effort between myself and my wife provides adequate time for playing, reading bed time stories to my sons, and taking them to music, math, and swimming classes.

Cricket taught me the importance of Team Work, which I follow not only in the field but also at the work place. For example, I helped my teams sail through the rough rapids by taking the Keeper's job when we lost the keeper of our team and by volunteering to take the additional role of Onsite Program Manager during the transition period of the Nationwide account to IBM.

In addition to my achievements referenced above, I realized the importance and benefits of personal investments. I researched the investment opportunities including associated risks before starting my initial investment in capital and real estate markets. I have been significantly successful by converting an investment of INR xx lakhs into xxx lakhs.

My achievements prove that I have ability to succeed and there is no doubt in my mind that not only I will be successful at ISB, but also my professional and sports experience in setting up Cricket Clubs and organizing cricket leagues will be of great help to my classmates and peers at ISB.

It might be because you can't open a new thread until you post some feedback in other people's threads. The system is intended to make people help each other. So, go help some other writers by giving them your ideas and feedback! :-)

The first paragraph is too general, and it seems meaningless because it it the same stuff admissions readers always see. You should think of the word that perfectly captures what you want to express. You might want to choose a word to have as your mascot word.. for example, I think "Kime" is a Japanese word that means something like "single-minded focus." That would be a good theme for your essay.

These are great accomplishments, but why did you do all these things? What do you make of this process where you have to choose a field of study and enter an industry as a professional? What is important to you, and what made you want to work so hard? Give this essay a theme that will help the reader remember you. Burn your message into their minds.