this is my essay for Duke's engineering program. I need help with grammar and some usage of words (especially the red parts). thx a lot in advance.
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
For me, there are both individual and social purposes of education: one is to gain knowledge to enrich myself, the other one is to gain practical skills to make other people's life better. Engineering is one of the most practical majors, and it is pervasive in every aspect of our daily life! By studying engineering, I can fulfill my educational purpose, better other's life and play a role in human development.
Furthermore, I am fascinated with engineering! I want to know how electronic devices work sytemsatically ; I want to make my touchscreen cellphone more sensitive; I want to apply 3D technology to computers; I want to challenge my brain to make the most complex integrated circuit; I want to make all my unreal ideas real. Only engineering can enable me to do so, and I believe I will excel in engineering with my strong math, physics and chemistry basis .
At the same time, as engineering is becoming more and more profit-making in the market economy, it is causing social problems, too. A playstation is beneficial when it serves as a way of entertainment, but we have to revalue it when it is easily-addictive and occupies too much of teenagers' time. Yet this is merely a tip of the iceberg. "The best way to solve a problem is to understand it first." I want to be professional in engineering so that I can solve these problems. I will be a responsible engineer, not only for my own job, but also for my consumers and the society.
I am person who is never afraid of challenges. At 15, I went to Nanjing, a city more than 2 hours away from my home, to attend the top class in a famous high school by myself; at 17, I went to Burlington, North Carolina alone to experience an exchange year. These experiences are important to me, as they gave me a multicultural background, and I became more independent, mature and ready for challenges . Duke will be just perfect as my next step, not only because it offers a high-quality engineering program, advanced equipments, double-major opportunities and accessibility to Research Triangle Park, but also that it will challenge me with its rigorous engineering education and a highly competitive environment.
Moreover, during my stay in North Carolina, I heard many praises on Duke (even from Carolina fans!), and that was how I started to know about Duke. My attention was drawn on Duke even more when I heard that Duke saved one of my best friends' life (she had cancer and was treated in Duke University Hospital). I was deeply impressed and movedïDuke is more than just an academic institution, it is actually and actively engaged in the society, playing an important role in helping people and bettering their lives. From then on, I am eager to be a part of this unique institution; I want to join the student groups such as Devices for People with Disabilities and Engineers Without Borders, to do what I can to Duke and the world.
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
For me, there are both individual and social purposes of education: one is to gain knowledge to enrich myself, the other one is to gain practical skills to make other people's life better. Engineering is one of the most practical majors, and it is pervasive in every aspect of our daily life! By studying engineering, I can fulfill my educational purpose, better other's life and play a role in human development.
Furthermore, I am fascinated with engineering! I want to know how electronic devices work sytemsatically ; I want to make my touchscreen cellphone more sensitive; I want to apply 3D technology to computers; I want to challenge my brain to make the most complex integrated circuit; I want to make all my unreal ideas real. Only engineering can enable me to do so, and I believe I will excel in engineering with my strong math, physics and chemistry basis .
At the same time, as engineering is becoming more and more profit-making in the market economy, it is causing social problems, too. A playstation is beneficial when it serves as a way of entertainment, but we have to revalue it when it is easily-addictive and occupies too much of teenagers' time. Yet this is merely a tip of the iceberg. "The best way to solve a problem is to understand it first." I want to be professional in engineering so that I can solve these problems. I will be a responsible engineer, not only for my own job, but also for my consumers and the society.
I am person who is never afraid of challenges. At 15, I went to Nanjing, a city more than 2 hours away from my home, to attend the top class in a famous high school by myself; at 17, I went to Burlington, North Carolina alone to experience an exchange year. These experiences are important to me, as they gave me a multicultural background, and I became more independent, mature and ready for challenges . Duke will be just perfect as my next step, not only because it offers a high-quality engineering program, advanced equipments, double-major opportunities and accessibility to Research Triangle Park, but also that it will challenge me with its rigorous engineering education and a highly competitive environment.
Moreover, during my stay in North Carolina, I heard many praises on Duke (even from Carolina fans!), and that was how I started to know about Duke. My attention was drawn on Duke even more when I heard that Duke saved one of my best friends' life (she had cancer and was treated in Duke University Hospital). I was deeply impressed and movedïDuke is more than just an academic institution, it is actually and actively engaged in the society, playing an important role in helping people and bettering their lives. From then on, I am eager to be a part of this unique institution; I want to join the student groups such as Devices for People with Disabilities and Engineers Without Borders, to do what I can to Duke and the world.