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My trip to the land of opportunities! I am not afraid of challenges anymore.

alialkhazragi 1 / 1  
May 25, 2015   #1
It was a hot summer day, June 2011, when I got into the plane, which was coming here to Toronto, Canada. It was an unforgettable day for me, the day I had to leave behind all my friends, relatives, and my precious childhood memories. I did not know what to expect. While I was getting into the plane, I had those double feelings that caused my body to freeze. The strong emotions of being happy, scared and confused were having a powerful effect on my mind. I was unable to stop thinking of what was waiting for me ahead. After awhile, I came into my senses and realized that I was not the only one going through this. It was not easy for my parents either to leave their jobs and the past behind them. Their determination made me think that this change was for something better. It was not because they were trying to make my life more complicated. On the contrary, they were doing their best in order to provide me and my brothers with a bright and successful future. Therefore, I decided that I should be more supportive, since we were in the same boat. As the plane left the ground and flew high towards the infinite blue sky, I realized that my life would be forever changed. I was going to live in Toronto, Canada forever, which wasn't an easy thing to do at all. At that time my only choice was to grin and bear it. After 18-hour trip from Libya to Italy then we finally arrived in the land of opportunity.

My first day in Canada started at Toronto airport. I will never forget that day. That day I felt very strange in the airport. There were so many people with different faces, skin color, hair, clothes and languages. I was looking around the totally strange place, which was full of strangers. All I could hear was the strangers' buzzing. At that moment, I realized that I was in Canada, and my heart started to beat fast.

Until June 28, 2015 I had never been away from Libya except for vacations. For 19 years, I had grown up being around people who used the same language as I do. At that time, my English was really bad since I used to speak Arabic in my whole previous life. Language barrier was the biggest problem for me. I was blushing like a tomato even before I open my mouth. It was all because of my poor English.

I met an immigration officer. He turned to me and said, "Welcome to Canada." I replied, "Thank you." I was very pleased to hear these words and he asked how do you feel. I replied, 'I'm happy and lucky." At that time my feelings were mixed. He understood my feelings.

Above all, the good thing was, our old best friend was waiting for us at the airport. After a warm greeting we headed home. Our friend's wife was really excited to see us, too. Our reunion under much better circumstances was very pleasant for all of us and we spent a lot of time sharing our memories of our time in Libya together. As a tradition, our friends were trying to convince us to stay with them, but since they knew we wanted to go to the hotel they didn't insist too much.

One of the funniest things happened to me in my first day in Canada was when I went shopping and paid tax for the first time. I went back home and told my family laterally " I have been cheated on by the cashier". They laughed out laud and explained the Canadian tax system to me. I felt like I was behind the time at that moment.

Day after day and week after week, the strangers buzzing gradually became words, and later on it finally became successive sentences to my ears. I could understand almost everything and I can laugh now at teacher's joke with my classmates. It took days and days for me to get English papers done and read text books, but my hard work and time I spent were rewarded by reaching to this level. Simple words are not enough to describe how I felt when I saw myself improving day by day.

Once an American historian said, "Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you. They're supposed to help you discover who you are." It was not an easy journey, but after going through it all by myself, what I found within me were the strong will, courage, responsibility, and confidence. I am proud that I won the fight with myself. I consider I just made one step. Still there is far more to go. There will be more challenges later in my life. However, I am no longer afraid of them. I trust myself. I know I can and will handle it. I'm ready to make a big jump to get closer to the goal in my life.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 26, 2015   #2
I hope that you will understand these changes. You did a great job at explaining your story. There are some changes that need to be made to help with meaning. I hope you will be pleased with these changes according to each paragraph that was written.

-I would use the word petrified or state you had mixed emotions rather than double emotions. Petrified defines it better because it can leave your body frozen as you described. There is a common informal expression that you have used. You can state you came to your senses. Change this sentence to: "After an 18-hour trip from Libya to Italy, we finally arrived in the land of opportunity".

-What do you mean when you describe the strangers buzzing? Did you have difficulty understanding the language so the sound was similar to a mumbled sound? You can describe it as a difficulty with understanding the language. Place a comma after 2015. You can delete "in my whole previous life" from the next sentence. It changes the meaning of the sentence. Place "The" before language. Change open to "opened", because you are describing details in the past.

-There needs to be a transition word or statement to describe how you met the immigration officer.
Ex: Afterwards, I met a woman at the airport who assisted me. Later that day, I met an agent who helped me purchase a ticket.

The transition words in bold are examples that will help you explain how you met the immigration officer. It will make your essay easier to understand.

Change how you state your interaction with him to: "he asked how I felt".

-When you describe how your wife's friend was glad to meet you, you forget to include that you arrived at your destination. You should discuss this before you write about greeting her. Is the tradition to show hospitality to your friends?

-Change the opening sentence to: "One of the funniest things that happened to me during my first day in Canada..." Delete laterally and place a comma after family. Change laud to loud. I think you should change your statement about being behind the time. It seems as if you felt like a beginner at understanding the region and customs.

-You should state, "a teacher's joke', when you describe your understanding. You should change parts of these sentences to: "the hard work and time I spent was rewarded by reaching this level. There are not enough words to..." I think you should describe what level you reached. Did you reach a better level of understanding or mastery in English?

-When you describe your strong will, change "were the" to "was". Also describe this fight you had as: "fight within me" Change consider to "feel". When you end your essay, do you have one goal or more than one goal in life? If you have more than one goal, you can describe it as you are ready to take the next steps to reach your goals in life.

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