This is a Stanford Supplemental Essay with the prompt:
"Stanford students have an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an experience that has been important to your intellectual development"
I would appreciate anybody's help so much! I honestly don't even know if it's a good essay or if there are any specific changes I should make...Help please!
At age seven, my world became one I feared. My world was a stage-a platform that offered no separation, no protection from the judging eyes of an audience. I was alone with nobody and nothing to rely on except the small, carefully crafted piece of wood I held in my hands. Fear took over my body as my knees shook and my hands quivered. The world of violin required me to perform, and I didn't know if my love for music was worth the anguish of performing.
I accidentally "landed" in the world of violin at age seven when my sister and I began casually playing with a children's beginning group. It was meant to be a fun pastime, but turned into something more serious when a teacher identified my potential and I switched instructors to develop my skills. I loved the music, and immersed myself in the classical art form. Over the years, not only did I master the lessons, but I also played countless hours at home, at the studio, at charity events, and with international students. I grew passionate about something completely unexpected.
But my shy personality still stood as an obstacle. I naturally prefer to stay within my comfort zone. Even since my first year in elementary school, I chose my words carefully, I remained cautious about who my friends were, and I never called attention to myself. "Outgoing" was something that was completely unattainable, and at a young age I accepted that. That is why, as the pieces I had to perform grew to be more and more difficult, I dreaded the semiannual studio recitals. I dreaded performance classes at camps and especially any competition in which I was involved. However, these aspects of the violin world are inevitably coupled with the joy of playing. And, at age seven, this was the world I chose, with the decision to compromise my own fears in order to further develop a passion.
What I realize now, is that forcing myself out of my comfort zone has made me more willing to take advantage of opportunities-within the world of violin as well as in past and future endeavors. I can achieve more because I am willing to reach farther. Being outgoing is still far from one of my strengths, but I am capable of overcoming the weakness that could be holding me back. My aspirations will not be limited by fear. I stand on a stage with eyes judging everything I do, but my fear does not control success anymore. Yes, I still am cautious. Yes, I still get overwhelmingly nervous in unfamiliar situations. But no, I will not let my fear inhibit my future.
"Stanford students have an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an experience that has been important to your intellectual development"
I would appreciate anybody's help so much! I honestly don't even know if it's a good essay or if there are any specific changes I should make...Help please!
At age seven, my world became one I feared. My world was a stage-a platform that offered no separation, no protection from the judging eyes of an audience. I was alone with nobody and nothing to rely on except the small, carefully crafted piece of wood I held in my hands. Fear took over my body as my knees shook and my hands quivered. The world of violin required me to perform, and I didn't know if my love for music was worth the anguish of performing.
I accidentally "landed" in the world of violin at age seven when my sister and I began casually playing with a children's beginning group. It was meant to be a fun pastime, but turned into something more serious when a teacher identified my potential and I switched instructors to develop my skills. I loved the music, and immersed myself in the classical art form. Over the years, not only did I master the lessons, but I also played countless hours at home, at the studio, at charity events, and with international students. I grew passionate about something completely unexpected.
But my shy personality still stood as an obstacle. I naturally prefer to stay within my comfort zone. Even since my first year in elementary school, I chose my words carefully, I remained cautious about who my friends were, and I never called attention to myself. "Outgoing" was something that was completely unattainable, and at a young age I accepted that. That is why, as the pieces I had to perform grew to be more and more difficult, I dreaded the semiannual studio recitals. I dreaded performance classes at camps and especially any competition in which I was involved. However, these aspects of the violin world are inevitably coupled with the joy of playing. And, at age seven, this was the world I chose, with the decision to compromise my own fears in order to further develop a passion.
What I realize now, is that forcing myself out of my comfort zone has made me more willing to take advantage of opportunities-within the world of violin as well as in past and future endeavors. I can achieve more because I am willing to reach farther. Being outgoing is still far from one of my strengths, but I am capable of overcoming the weakness that could be holding me back. My aspirations will not be limited by fear. I stand on a stage with eyes judging everything I do, but my fear does not control success anymore. Yes, I still am cautious. Yes, I still get overwhelmingly nervous in unfamiliar situations. But no, I will not let my fear inhibit my future.
