'aiding in the flood relief in the fall' - Penn State Personal Statement

Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.

Wanna know if this essay is good enough its the first one I've tried and could it also work as a common app essay?

In the late summer and early fall of 2011 Northern Pennsylvania and Southwestern New York were adversely affected by flooding. I'm sure some strong effort google-ing could reveal the damages. I have never had such a disaster so close to myself. My first thought of the flood was happiness I was not affected however I applied myself to and was lucky enough to have the opportunity to go the Athens Pennsylvania in order to aid in the flood relief. This trip began with handing out boxes to victims. I have moved but to have to pack up my possessions and have nowhere to go is an event unthinkable to myself and many others. Next to a jewelry store to clean out a basement full of rare stones along with gold and silver a plenty. A basement covered in mud smelling strongly of kerosene everything was going. A business, a family's life and welfare depending on the success of this store wiped away in a matter of hours. Next to a family's home "everything" a word I heard many times at this location nothing was to be left of this house but the frame the family was completely rebuilding. Along with something unforgettable, "There was another contractor's business card on the porch." A family torn by natural disaster, less than a week later people already look to turn profits from an event as profound as the flood of 2011. In my 17 years I have maintained a strong GPA started on sports teams none of which has affected me in the same profound way as aiding in the flood relief in the fall of 2011.

Thank You for any help

Penn Sate Personal statement

Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.

"Small people in many small places do many small things that can change the face of the planet."-Anonymous in this quote the face of the planet is not necessarily the entire planet it is instead an area affected by the kind helping small acts of groups of people.

In the late summer and early fall of 2011 Northern Pennsylvania and Southwestern New York were struck by heavy flooding. I was not nor was my home affected by flooding however given an opportunity I applied myself to and was lucky enough to go to Athens, Pennsylvania to see firsthand and to help in flood relief.

This trip began with handing out boxes to victims. Moving is easy but to have to pack up all ones possessions and have nowhere to go is an event unthinkable for most.

The next task sent us to a jewelry store to clean out a basement full of rare stones along with gold and silver a plenty. The basement was covered in mud smelling strongly of kerosene. Everything had to go. A business, a family's life and welfare depending on the success of this store wiped away in a matter of hours.

The course of this particular day instilled on me several things that will aid to my success and Penn State and in my life. The first of these is that I am humble I will respect the things I am given this is a characteristic that lends itself to success at college because if one is grateful for everything they have they are much more likely to work for the success they hope to attain. It has also given me one more reason to work as hard as possible. Being in that basement there were people standing around talking while I was helping, I was the first one into the basement and I would have been the last to leave if that's what it took to help this family in need.

Thank you for any help

I don't know, the first sentence seems a little bit ambiguous