Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from
childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family in 650 words or less.
This essay is exactly 650 words; I'm debating between this essay and a second for my common app essay
Watching the silver Camry merge into the rest of the busy flow of traffic characteristic of LAX airport, I took a deep breath as I braced myself for the adventure I was about to embark. Flying 1,897 miles from the bustling Los Angeles to the vibrant and elusive New Orleans alone for the first time was pretty daunting for my sixteen-soon-to-be-seventeen self. Up until that point I'd always flown with my twin sister Noelle, and I felt comfortable in her presence. This time I was alone, and anxious about navigating the notoriously chaotic and confusing LAX (I'm still not entirely sure what the "X" stands for, though it does make it sound rather ominous). Finally I turned myself around and walked into the sliding glass doors, sealing my fate for the next seven hours.
I would have thought that locating the security check point would be the easy part, but I was utterly overwhelmed by the amount of people and intimidating large metal things in the lobby. The older African American woman watched me with tired eyes as I approached her, me nearly losing my roll-around bag from my hyper-hydrosis hands (sweaty palm disease). "Excuse me, where is security?" The woman duly pointed me toward the left, and I began walking after a hurried "thank-you" so as to calm my nerves. Of course there were about 10 metal looking objects with lines in front of them. I decided on which one looked like security, and proceeded on my way. To my dismay, I figured out that I was actually walking towards a dead end, and had to ask about 5 people where the security line was (turns out it was up a hidden escalator).
After safely securing my position in the seemingly never ending line, I took out my latest and favorite novel, "On the Road," and began to read to pass the time. Unsurprisingly, I became completely engrossed in Sal and Dean's discussion of girls, and was bewildered when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. A young man was standing behind me, smiling politely. "Where ya off to?" he asked me, while furtively acknowledging the growing gap that had developed between me and the person in front of me. "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," I replied embarrassedly, quickly gathering up my stuff and closing the gap. I decided to put away any distractions and keep myself focused on the task at hand. "I'm going to New Orleans."
For the next ten minutes this man, who I learned was Matt, and I discussed the cultural idiosyncrasies of New Orleans as we slowly made our way through the line. Before I knew it I was going through my luggage, pulling out my lap top and charger which was conveniently underneath my underwear. I blushed as I attempted to elusively pull out my bra without anyone seeing. Rushing through the security scan, I quickly threw my laptop back into my luggage, and was mid-way with pulling my sweatshirt over my head when Matt patted my shoulder and gave me a warm "goodbye." I awkwardly attempted to pull my sweatshirt over my head while simultaneously keeping my hair contained and give an equally friendly goodbye.
I was thinking about the funny way that Matt had walked in and out of my life as I walked down to my departure gate, 11A; thankfully the signs were blatantly clear. Sitting down in the leather chair at the gate, it suddenly occurred to me that I had successfully completed my intended mission. I managed to navigate my way all by myself, well with help from other kind people. It suddenly stuck me that that was how life was going to be; an independent journey with help from others along the way. And no matter how much preparation, I'd never be completely prepared. At this moment I understood what adulthood was all about.
It's very descriptive, but that ended up becoming very tedious to read. Moreover, it ended up not really answering the question; it seems to be more of a parallel to becoming an adult than actually becoming one. If the essay about you and your twin sister is your other choice, I'd go with that.
This time I was alone, and anxious about navigating the notoriously chaotic and confusing LAX (I'm still not entirely sure what the "X" stands for, though it does make it sound rather ominous) . Finally I turned myself around and walked into the sliding glass doors, sealing my fate for the next seven hours.
I was thinking about the funny way that Matt had walked in and out of my life as I walked down to my departure gate, 11A. Thankfully the signs were blatantly clear.
split those sentences up/helps with clarity
This is pretty good! I like the story and the ending. It's a good tie in to how life is going to be. You can probably write a little less about finding your way and more about how Matt helped you. It's good that you include details about yourself like that you have sweaty palm disease and that you have a twin.
