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"Alaska Spine Institute" - My experiences that have Influenced me; ASI


vinniejp 2 / 5  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
After deciding some quick changes, my essay turned into something totally different from my original :(.
Describe an experience that has inspired or influenced you.

Alaska Spine Institute

At the Alaska Spine Institute (ASI), a pain management facility I was in mentor-ship with, I spent eight hours a day shadowing occupational therapists, nurse practioners, interventional radiologists, and neurosurgeons. Direct interaction with health care providers, as they underwent invasive procedures, was a very unique opportunity for me as a high school student. I was able to observe the complexity and integration of science and art involved in procedures such as vertebroplasty, epidural injections, and spinal fusions. I simply enjoyed my time there.

During the mentor-ship, I met a radiologist named Jerry; the most significant quality about Jerry was his love towards his occupation. At first he listed factual information about his job enthusiastically, which seemed to be considerably interesting for him, and then as we spent more time together I observed his true enjoyment despite the extensive hours and plenty of studying involved. He was a thoughtful guy even though he represented the atypical dark Frankenstein crazed in his work. I was inspired from his love and devotion towards his career and found myself careening in the selection towards becoming a radiologist.

However, I can say this for everybody I shadowed at API. They all had distinct mantras about their careers; ranging from enjoyment in putting people under the knife to the less crazy desire in helping people. Whether their motives were for personal gain or selfless concerns, they worked hard at their careers and simply ignored the downsides of it. In fact, it even looked like they enjoyed that slow part of their work, the ten hours of diligence, and the endless drinks of coffee - which they called the elixir of life.

This endless drive in their careers was ultimately due to one factor. They were in their practice of their passions. I discovered this when I became more familiarized with the staff through interviews; the most significant response I received was from Jerry. In a question asking about if he had advice towards future health care occupants, he replied that, quote, "Most people are happy about their jobs and it's an alarming illness if they aren't; we [health care providers] need to ensure that we are not sick ourselves before considering helping another."

What I had heard from him that day influenced me in nearly all the things I do now. Instead of blindly pursuing, I confirm what I am fanatical about in my search of a future career or interest. I will not be inclined to work hard simply because I am required, but because I genuinely enjoy the work, the diligence, the passion that I hopefully acquire.

Thanks for reading this
annasc1992 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
I simply enjoyed my time there.

This is kind of boring. Maybe something more like "Though [blablablabla] I found that [blablablabla]. Add some spice!

In a question asking about if he had advice towards future health care occupants , he replied that, quote, "Most people are happy about their jobs and it's an alarming illness if they aren't; we [health care providers] need to ensure that we are not sick ourselves before considering helping another."

That sounds awkward to me and doesn't seem quite grammatically correct. Try rewording; maybe "When asked if he had advice..."

That's all I could come up with! It sounds like a unique experience, and you do a good job of describing the passion workers in health care have. Good luck!

Check out my essay for Brown if you have time!
YPan 10 / 28  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
the essay is overall pretty good, but I think you need a stronger ending
btw, I don't think you need a hyphen in mentorship
OP vinniejp 2 / 5  
Dec 28, 2010   #4
Haha thanks; my word document was going haywire with mentorship... i guess its not a word in the online dictionary?
trentp 2 / 8  
Dec 28, 2010   #5
Frankly , I can say this for everybody I shadowed at API.

This endless drive in their careers was ultimately due to one factor: t hey were in their practice of their passions.

This essay is great. I do think that you need to make some of your reactions to the procedures more specific rather than the generic "it was an interesting experience", but the overall theme is particularly strong. I don't think your ending needs much revision.


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