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'Allowing myself to learn' - University of Chicago Essay! Why UC?



punkiebell17 7 / 11  
Oct 25, 2013   #1
This is probably the most lame, and trite essay ever. So I need help. Any comments? Anything I can change or delete? Any comment would be great help.

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.*

During my college searching, I have discovered some of the qualities in life I truly value. The University of Chicago seems like a place in which I can learn as much as I allow myself to learn. I can't shove aside the fact that it looks like the ideal place for the sprouting of innovational ideas watered by the liquids of excitement and determination.

The mysterious yet elegant city of Chicago has always gotten my attention, and having lived there the first 8 years of my life, the city has encrypted in me a love for gothic architecture. The architects who designed the city, and the school, inspire me to be an architect of my own creations. Maybe I won't design buildings, but I feel like I could design and manipulate the way my inventions or discoveries help the world one day.

UChicago has built the ideal atmosphere in which a student can truly learn. Although it is a large university, it has a 6 to 1 student/ faculty ratio, therefore it provides an opportunity for a curious student like me, to exchange ideas with other students and have an actual connection with my professors. I could learn about other cultures from the international students that visit the school. I believe that culture is something that has a great impact on education because it allows students to learn about different perspectives, ideas, and values. Having graduated from a school, I want to feel like I not only learned something, but also made friends that I will hopefully stay in contact with the rest of my life.

mayi753 1 / 3  
Oct 25, 2013   #2
I really liked you essay.
If you want to make it a bit longer you can talk about any clubs (or sports) or activity that the university does that you enjoy, in which you can further strenghten your skills. But over all its awesome
dumi 1 / 6793  
Oct 26, 2013   #3
During my college searching, I have discovered some of the qualities in life I truly value.

I don't find anything of this line referring to what is expected from the prompt. What's the connection between this idea and the next one :(

You need to open your response with a powerful hook that can grab readers' attention while having relevance to what your prompt suggests. In simple language, I don't find that relevance here.

The mysterious yet elegant city of Chicago has always gottenattracted my attention,
Ro4 9 / 21  
Nov 22, 2013   #4
During my college searching -search
wonderful essay but i think you should add a little more detail about the school and how it'll help you to show that you're sure about Uchicago
Sic 3 / 6  
Dec 22, 2013   #5
UChicago has quite an interesting and quirky spirit (just one look at the past essay prompts tells you a lot...). People often refer to it as "a college for nerds" (lol sorry; I'm applying to, so I take that in the best sense of the word). Maybe you could add something about that, as it is a thing that sets UChicago apart in a way.


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